A holiday gift for you!
In this most wonderful time of the year, you may also be calling it the most chaotic time of the year! I know for our home, we are truly enjoying the family time, the sharing and caring, but we are also overwhelmed with the craziness that comes along with it! And also, at this time of year, I am remembering those I loved and lost, and trying to keep their memory alive (which is why we still do all the traditional holiday planning and activities, which is part of the craziness!)
On behalf of Shelton Interactive and Chicken Soup for the Soul, I’d like to share with you a free e-book download of Chicken Soup for the Soul: Devotional Stories for Tough Times.
Chicken Soup for the Soul books are available in e-book format for your e-reader, smart phone or computer! This free e-book works on all e-readers — Kindle, Nook, iPad, Kobo, iPod Touch, iPhone, and others, and all generations of them. Don’t worry, though. If you don’t have an e-reader (or receive one this holiday season) you can still enjoy this free book on your computer.
The free download is included below. They are only available for a limited time.
To download from Amazon: http://amzn.to/shsW6O
To download from Barnes & Noble: http://bit.ly/tYS2cB
To download from Apple iTunes: http://bit.ly/tYiaoD
To download from Kobo Books: http://bit.ly/uMSyrX
Enjoy your book!
My favorite Christmas Gift
It is a gift that is over 20 years old, but is still with me. I was ten years old that Christmas and I wanted a special gift that year. My parents didn’t have much, but they did give me a great gift each year. I asked my mom for a doll to play with. I had a few Barbie dolls, but nothing like a big doll that I could take care of. I wanted a doll that I could treat like my baby.
Christmas morning, I found my doll. It was UGLY! I asked my mom why I got this ugly doll. It was a Wrinkles dog puppet. Its face was scrunched up like a sharpie. But, I realized she was soft and cuddly.
I named her Emily and put my baby clothes on her. She went with me everywhere except for school and church. She kept me company after I had a nightmare and watched over me while I did my homework.
Today, Emily is still with me and is the only childhood toy I’ve kept. She still wears my pink baby dress over her original outfit. Emily still carries her toy bone in her dress pocket. She sits on my desk in my room keeping watch. What makes her even more special is that since my mom isn’t with me anymore, Emily can remind me of the best Christmas I ever had as a kid.
What do you do when your child says “I heard Santa isn’t real?”
Eeeek! If you’re a Santa-believer, your day of reckoning has come. It is a day that many parents dread if they’ve introduced their children to Santa. So how can you handle this? Here are some tips:
- Ask your child what he or she heard. Kids hear many things at many times and the information can be very inaccurate. It is always good to ask your kids what exactly they heard. Once you know what you’re dealing with, you can move on to the next step.
- Where did he or she hear it? Ask your child where he or she got the information from. You can then try to speak to this individual about what you’d like your child to believe about Santa. Or you can let your child figure out what to believe.
- Consider your child’s age. If your child is pre-school or school age, you can try to salvage this by simply asking your child what he or she believes in. Chances are, your child may not be ready to let go of Santa just yet.
- Tell the truth. If your child fixates on the fact that Santa isn’t real or is old enough to realize it, be honest about it. There is no point in continuing a tradition that your child does not believe in.
This happened to me. My son (age 10) told me last year that he didn’t think Santa was real. He then said that he thought I was Santa because his gifts were never under the tree until Christmas. (I purposely keep his gifts hidden to keep the Santa tradition alive.) I believe that kids should be allowed to be kids and enjoy the holiday. But, my Santa party is over.
I explained to my son all about the tradition of Santa Claus. He learned the story of St. Nicholas (http://www.stnicholascenter.org/pages/who-is-st-nicholas/) who lived during the 4th Century and gave his belongings away. Then I shared that St. Nicholas was the model for Santa Claus (http://www.stnicholascenter.org/pages/origin-of-santa/) . Kiddo learned more about the saint at school so I didn’t have to explain much. But, he was happy to hear about where Santa came from and to learn about St. Nicholas. Either way you decide what is best for your child. Happy Holidays!
Holiday Carols
I LOVE music! It is one of my passions and I especially love holiday music. I love traditional Christmas songs (Silent Night, Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer, Santa Claus is Coming to Town) in English and some favorites in Spanish. Silent Night (Noche de Paz – Night of Peace), Pastores a Belen (Shepherds to Bethlehem) and Hacia Belen (Towards Bethlehem) are my top three Spanish holiday carols. When I listen and sing along to these three songs, I’m a kid again in our tiny chapel.
Other songs that have found their way to my heart are parody songs. Parody songs are tunes written to make us laugh. I will be the first one to crack a joke about the holidays and make my family laugh. Someone (bless them!) came up with the idea of writing parodies of favorite holiday songs.
For the last several years, I’ve kept my radio on to Z100 and 95.5 WPLJ to tune into my favorites – Dominic the Italian Christmas Donkey, 12 Things at Christmas that’s Such a Pain to me and of course, Adam Sandler’s Hanukkah song (all three versions). Each year I look forward to singing these to make myself laugh. Sometimes, we can take the holidays so seriously that we fail to enjoy them. What better way to enjoy music during the holidays than to make fun of ourselves and share the laughter?
Holiday Traditions – Food
Other traditions that come during the holidays are special foods and treats. My mother made several, but there are three that are my favorites during this time of year. One is Coquito – a coconut-based drink that is almost like egg nog (without the egg). Each year, my mother would mix a can of Coco Lopez (thick coconut), a fresh coconut (meat/milk), cinnamon, water and at the end, a splash of Puerto Rican rum. Mami usually made two batches – alcoholic for the adults & non-alcoholic for kids.
Another food tradition is called pasteles. A pastele is a mix of ground up vegetables (Green Banana, Yautia and Yuca) with stewed pork in the center. Mami assembled it on wax paper (in Puerto Rico, banana leaves are used) putting the ground up veggies or masa (dough) in the center. She flattened it out creating a pocket in the middle for the stewed pork. Two versions were made – spicy for the adults and regular for the kids. She would then fold up the edges of the wax paper to make a rectangle-shaped container. My job was to tie two pasteles together tightly. It was a holiday tradition just for us to make it because it is made from Thanksgiving through Little Christmas (January 6). We’d sit and talk while we ground up the vegetables and I’d go steal some of the stew to eat it with crackers. So yummy! After the work was done, the pasteles were boiled for an hour and voila! A delicious holiday treat for me to enjoy.
The final one was a dessert called Tembleque (pronounced “tem-bleh-keh”). It is a coconut custard that mom prepared every year along with the coquito and pasteles. My mom used a can of Coco Lopez and heated it with corn starch. She dedicated a lot of time to this because it had to be stirred constantly so that it didn’t burn. Mami then spread the mixture onto a flat plate. She topped it off with a sprinkle of cinnamon and cooled it in the fridge. After a couple of hours, the tembleque was ready to eat. Hers came out hard enough to eat with my hands like cake. My pal made it for me last year and it was very soft after she placed it in dessert cups.
I’ve only tried to make this once myself and it came out burnt. It was brown like caramel and hard as a rock! This was several years ago already, but maybe next year I’ll try making it again. What are your special holiday food traditions?
Wishing You Can Skip the Holidays
As today is Christmas Eve, I thought I would share this post that I created last Christmas… Although we are in the “most wonderful time of the year”, if you aren’t in the mood, this can be a very difficult time.
The holiday season is well in full swing! This is a wonderful time of year for many of us, although for some it can be the worst time of the year. As we celebrate this time of good tidings and cheer, my thoughts are with those families that may be having a tough time this holiday season, for whatever reason.
I am of Italian heritage. Years ago, after the death of a loved one, my relatives would spend months wearing only black, and the holidays would be fairly simple: no Christmas cards, no decorating, and no partying.
I remember when I was 13 years old, a cousin passed away. She was only 36 years old and left behind two young children. From that year on, my grandparents never decorated again for Christmas. Although they still gave us presents and my grandmother continued to cook dinner, it was never again the same for her.
Last September, just ten days after my two month old was born, my grandmother passed away. She had been sick for some time, and was eighty three years old. I had a hard time jump starting myself to prepare for the holidays last year, but I have four little children and cannot “skip” over Christmas just because I may not be in the Christmas spirit. And although my grandmother didn’t celebrate the holidays after she lost her niece, I am sure she would want me to make sure my children have a great Christmas. Once I started Christmas shopping and put up the tree, it was easier to get into the spirit. Although for me, I will never forget how Grandma always made Christmases special.
This past January 3, my grandfather passed away. The last time I saw him was on Christmas Eve. I miss him terribly. It has been almost a full year, but yet I still can’t help but think how the holidays will never be the same now that I have no grandparents left. And then I think about my kids and how they have their grandparents, and I know how important it is to celebrate with my family.
As parents, we often have to put aside our own feelings for the sake of our children. That might mean pushing ourselves to put a smile on our face when we really want to cry. That might mean sacrificing something we really want to get that special toy for our child. That might mean putting up a Christmas tree and sending out cards when you really want to skip right over December altogether.
I have always loved Christmastime. Even though Christmas this year will be hard without my grandparents, seeing the smiling faces of my four children on Christmas morning makes Christmas that much better. And as wonderful as it is, I am also reminded of another Christmas that was not so wonderful, and I did not have four beautiful children to brighten it up.
Before my oldest daughter was born, I lost two pregnancies. I found out I was pregnant in December of 2000, and I found out it was an ectopic pregnancy on December 27th. I had surgery on January 4th and came home January 5th to see the house still fully decorated for Christmas. I cried for hours while my family took the decorations down. I lost another baby only four months later, and once again was in a terrible place. Before getting pregnant with my daughter, I started to put all my thoughts down on paper. I wrote a poem and started to write about my bumpy road on becoming a mother. I now have four beautiful children, although I didn’t think I would ever get to that point. I became a Family Therapist to help other women and couples who were dealing with pregnancy loss and infertility, for I found there was not much available for me when I needed the help. After my daughter was born, I published “Becoming a Mother”. I have been truly blessed with my family. But every Christmas I am reminded of that awful season. Here is the poem I wrote:
Me…
Imagine for a second…
How a little girl dreams of becoming a mother –
A role in her life unlike any other.
Dreaming of the day she can hug her baby
“I’d like to have two or three, maybe.”
…that was me.
Imagine for a second…
A young woman is pregnant, and just found out.
Her feelings are mixed without a doubt.
She’s so thrilled yet a bit scared of the thought
Of the job ahead and everything to be taught.
…that was me.
Imagine for a second…
The pregnant woman has just been told
Of a poor diagnosis that is two-fold.
Her tube is bad, the baby has died,
How upset she is and how she has cried.
…that was me.
Imagine for a second…
Two months of torture, being so sad –
‘Could the remaining tube be just as bad?’
Then to her surprise, the wonderful fact –
She’s pregnant again, the tube is intact!
…that was me.
Imagine for a second…
The woman and her husband in weeks of pure bliss
‘We’re having a baby!” How great is this?
Looking forward to finally meeting the child growing inside.
The joy of ‘parents-to-be’ – just imagine their pride!
…that was me.
Imagine for a second…
Visiting the doctor, expecting a heartbeat.
‘The baby has died…’ – this child they’ll never meet.
A feeling of numbness, unable to speak,
Trying to stand, but feeling quite weak.
…that was me.
Imagine for a second…
The awful trip to the operating room…
It might as well have been her tomb.
For the second time, her child has died.
For the second time, they’re taking the child inside.
…that was me.
Imagine for a second…
Her husband wishes she’d return to herself,
As he looks at all the angels she’s collecting on a shelf.
Becoming a mother has taken over her life –
‘Is our family destined to be just husband and wife?’
…that was me.
Imagine for a second…
That little girl dreaming is now a wife
And she still has the dream she’s had all her life.
She would have never thought that what would be true
Is that here on earth she has no children, but Heaven has two.
She knows that God will one day bless her with children she’ll bear,
She holds onto that dream, and holds onto that prayer.
…this IS me.
In memory of two little souls I’ll never forget.
You’re looking down at Mommy, I bet.
I wish you all Happy Holidays. Hoping you are in the holiday spirit, if not for yourself, for your children.
I originally posted this on Naptime Stories on December 20th, 2009. With the holidays of 2011 quickly approaching, I thought I would share.
Holiday Traditions – celebration
Growing up with a mom from a Puerto Rico, I learned about unique traditions that really showed the joy and celebration of Christmas. The first one was the parranda. A parranda is equivalent to the carolers at Christmastime here in the US. The big difference is that members of the parranda have guitars and other instruments to sing to their neighbors and friends nearby. I have great memories of going on parrandas with my mother and her church group. They played songs with drums, tambourines and guitars to sing to sick friends who had not been able to go to church. It is one of my favorite memories of the season.
Another tradition from Puerto Rico, is Three Kings Day or Little Christmas. It pays tribute to the visit of the three Magi or Wise Men who paid homage to Jesus and presented him with gifts. The night before Three Kings Day (January 6), children put out a handful of grass along with a bowl of water for the camels that the Magi traveled on. In the same way that children put out cookies and milk for Santa, children in Puerto Rico (and those of Puerto Rican descent) do the same. In the morning, children will find their gifts as a thank you from the Magi for feeding their camels. I remember that my local church collected gifts to give to the neighborhood children for Little Christmas. I think I got my first Monopoly game this way. What are your special holiday celebration traditions?
Moms can have fun too!
There is definitely something to be said about peers. And just because we are grown-ups and have families and jobs and bills and big responsibilities, doesn’t mean we can’t get together with the girls for a night of laughs and fun! And guess what? It doesn’t have to be expensive!
Hosting an ABBA Dance Party was something I could NOT pass up! After all, anyone who really knows me knows that Abba carries the soundtrack to my life! When my oldest child was merely months old, we used to dance around my dining room table blasting “Dancing Queen”. She loved it so much, that by the time she was a year and a half, she knew and would sing every word by heart. She sang (with the DJ’s microphone) at cousins’ weddings, my wedding to her stepfather, her Communion…) in front of crowds and always jammed the dance floor. Juliana is my “Dancing Queen”!
Then, when I met my now-husband Paul, one of our very first dates was to see “Mamma Mia” on Broadway. I was still unsure of where the relationship was going because of my confusion with my recent divorce, but by the end of the show, after dancing, reflecting, laughing, crying, I realized that Paul was the man for me. He knew it too. At our wedding, as we walked back down the aisle as husband and wife, we walked out to Abba’s “I DO”. And after being on bedrest with my twins pregnancy for 2 months, Mamma Mia, the movie, came out just 3 days before my scheduled C-Section, the same day I was taken off of bedrest. So guess where I went that night? Yep! Paul, Juliana, and a VERY pregnant me were dancing in the aisles! Now, all four of my kids can recite the Mamma Mia movie by heart, and they know ALL Abba songs!
Five ladies came to my house last Friday night from Mommy’s Links for my ABBA YOU CAN DANCE HOUSE PARTY. This UbiSoft game for Wii is just AWESOME! And so much fun with a crowd (or by yourself, if you prefer to dance behind closed doors!) All of us moms got a great workout, sang to our heart’s content (songs we all know and love) and really enjoyed the laughs and fun we had all night! And what’s even better is that the kids love it too!
If you love Abba, this is an absolute MUST have item on your Christmas list! See below for the link on where to get it (and it ships free with TWO DAY delivery!) 
I apologize for the blurry photos! With our strobe light (complements of Ubisoft), the dim lighting and the fast moving dancing moms, it couldn’t be helped! And as for our videographer, I think 10 year old Andy did a pretty good job!
Please see here for the original post and the disclaimer.
New Job, New Routine for Kiddo & me
Well, a new job is coming my way very soon and I realized I needed to tell kiddo about it. One of the challenges of being a single mom with a chatty son is that he likes to share my details with his father. I found out that I got the job on Halloween. I waited a couple of weeks before telling him because I did not want him to tell his father. I also just wanted to enjoy the news myself and then let kiddo know. While kiddo’s schedule won’t be affected at all, my schedule will be very different. I’ll have somewhat of a 9-5 (three days a week) and two late nights, which will hopefully be on the same nights that kiddo’s with his father.
This new job will be a major shift for me since I won’t be working in foster care anymore. I’ll be working hard to change old habits to reflect my new work. Now that he’s older, kiddo’s not much affected by my work. Occasionally, I found myself having to call my father for pick-ups when I couldn’t be there myself. Now this new schedule will have me finished by 5pm most days and I can be there for him better than with the previous job. Another plus, more money so that I can better provide for him. I’m really nervous and excited and scared. I just hope that I can adjust so that kiddo won’t notice much of a difference. I don’t want to shake things up for him too much even though I’ll be the one going through a change. How do you help the kids adjust while you go through a lifestyle change?
What Do You Celebrate?
We celebrate Christmas. We are Roman Catholic Christians, and although Easter is our religion’s biggest holiday, as you know, Christmas gets the most attention every year! We celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ, our Savior.
For our family, the Christmas season begins on Thanksgiving. We watch the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade on TV (one day when the kids are a little older we hope to go in person. As a New Yorker, I cannot believe I have yet to go!), and when the parade is over, we officially say it is Christmas! I start my Christmas shopping early the next morning (sometimes late Thanksgiving night, IF we are not too stuffed and tired from dinner!) and we decorate our home inside and out over Thanksgiving weekend.
We send out Christmas cards, at least 30 cards to family and friends. We decorate Christmas cookies, baking butter cookies, sugar cookies, chocolate chip cookies, walnut balls and a variety of other cookies depending on the year (and our time!) My husband and I shop and wrap together (except each other’s gifts, of course, although sometimes we know what the other has gotten us in advance!), and we bake as a family. We attend various parties and Christmas concerts the kids put on at school.
On Christmas Eve, we attend Mass at 5pm, where the children put on The Living Nativity. For the second year in a row, my daughter is in the presentation. She is a signing angel. After Mass, we enjoy a fish dinner, where we have at least 7 different fishes. I am a seafood fan, so I really enjoy Christmas Eve. We celebrated Christmas Eve with my in-laws for many years, but since Juliana is in The Living Nativity near our house, we have been celebrating with my family. After dinner, it’s home and bedtime for the kids, and Santa and Mrs. Claus get ready for the morning! We take out all the kids’ presents, put some together, “eat” the cookies and “drink” the milk (usually putting it back as we are both too stuffed to actually eat anything else!) and prepare whatever we can in advance for dinner the next day. We always host Christmas dinner at our house, so after opening presents and breakfast, it is back into the kitchen!
Christmas morning at our house is extremely chaotic and crazy, but we wouldn’t have it any other way. First, the kids get Santa’s gifts, then open the gifts from us (and each other), and usually by then, by parents and siblings have arrived with a ton more presents. My house usually looks like Toys R Us exploded that morning, and I spend the day worrying where in the world I am going to put all these new toys! Paul and I go make everyone breakfast, and we enjoy breakfast as family. Everyone goes home to shower and dress, and we finish preparing dinner. Just as we’re showered, our guests start to arrive. This year, we are hosting my parents, my siblings and their significant others, my mother-in-law and her husband, my father-in-law and his wife, two of my aunts and us. We will be 18.
After stuffing ourselves silly for the second day in a row, everyone goes home, and Paul and I usually crash on the couch. It has been a long few days! I try to reflect on the day and I remember again the real reason for the season, celebrating the birth of Jesus. I am thankful for another wonderful holiday.
WHAT DO YOU CELEBRATE?