Naptime Blog

I have mentioned before that I am a sucker for an infomercial!!  We have been playing video #1 for a little over a month now. I do not use T.V as a babysitter for my kids. But I do allow good stuff to play while I am cooking and cleaning. Instead of just allowing any old junk T.V to play I thought I would give this a try. As a school teacher I know that exposing your child to literacy early is a positive thing. This includes reading to your baby, talking to him, exposing him to a variety of different things.

I wanted to see if this early language program did what it promised. When Jayce, who is now 8 months, is in the living room playing and exploring while I cook, we let the video play. He really doesn’t pay much attention to the T.V, but when the cute little songs play, he will stop what he’s doing and turn towards the T.V and smile! He loves the music and the pictures that they pair with it. It is still too early to tell if it works, he has only been watching it a few weeks. I will keep you guys posted.

It comes w/ a series of videos and supporting flash cards. We are still on the 1st video; I will be recording and documenting the process. I will give you all the down low on how it worked for us.

Here is the link again for you to see for yourself,

http://www.yourbabycanread.com/

~Shanta

The season premiere of Jon and Kate Plus 8 sparked interest among many parents of multiples as well as singletons.  Kate made a comment about parents of multiples having “triple the divorce rate” as parents without multiples.  Statistics actually do show that the added stress among parents of multiples does in fact lead to a divorce rate that is two to three times higher than the average divorce rate. 

There are various reasons for this.  Financially, the cost of having multiples is almost if not actually double (or triple or more, considering higher level multiples) the cost of having a singleton.  And before the babies even arrive, the family needs to invest in double or more money to prepare for the arrival:  two cribs, two bassinets, two car seats,  a double stroller, double clothing, double bottles, two bouncy seats…  the list can go on and on.  And then of course there is formula, diapers and wipes for two (or three, or more) babies!

The lack of sleep in the first days and weeks (and sometimes months) of the babies’ arrival is compounded with the need to feed and diaper more than one baby multiple times in the middle of the night (and through the day), resulting in fatigue, irritability, and an overall added stress to the individuals and the couple.  The anxiety over being able to handle multiples can cause a lot of stress also.  Plus, many of the families with multiples have already gone through months or even years of infertility treatments to get pregnant, and this may have already put stress on the marriage – even before the babies arrive!

Some helpful ideas to consider if you and your spouse or partner has or is expecting multiples:

• Accept the offer of help from others, even something simple as accepting a meal prepared by a neighbor (which will save you the prep time and cooking time that you can use to take a bubble bath or watch your multiples sleep peacefully!)
• Ask your extended family members to help out.  Grandmothers and Grandfathers may not want to clean a toilet as much as they want to feed the babies, but you can still utilize that time to get a manicure or take a nap.  You could also take that time to clean the toilet yourself, but if you are totally stressed out, the toilet can wait!
• If you do not have family close by, invest in a nanny.  If your budget won’t allow a nanny, consider a teenaged “Mommy’s Helper” even for ONE hour a day one to three days per week.
• Consider taking baby gear from friends who have children that have outgrown them, or consider consignment shops or donated baby items to save money.
• If you think that you (or your spouse) are experiencing post partum depression, seek out help.  There are many organizations out there dealing with PPD, and you can always make an appointment to see a counselor or psychologist to discuss your concerns.  The Mayo Clinic might be a place to start.
• Seek out a support system of other parents with multiples.  Google “local parents with multiples groups” to find a group near you.  Twins Magazine (www.twinsmagazine.com) has a great forum for parents of multiples grouped by birth month and year of your babies.  You can find other parents who have children at the same stages as yours.
• Try to establish a routine from the very start.  If you haven’t already, it is never too late to begin a pattern or routine.  You need to be consistent and maintain the same pattern every day.  Babies love routines, and after a few days they will expect it and it will become easier.
• Remind yourself (and really listen!) that you do not have to be a superwoman (or superman), and remember that if your spouse is the primary caregiver of the babies, he or she is not a superperson either!  If the laundry needs to stay in a dirty pile on the floor so that you can get that extra hour to rest, so be it!  The laundry will still be there tomorrow!
• Ask your spouse or partner for help.  If you are a single parent, ask extended family or friends for help.  Churches and other organizations have volunteers who would be willing to send someone to spend a few hours with you to help out, even if it is to keep you company so you do not feel like you are losing your mind.
• To save money and ease your pocket, consider store brand formula and diapers.  Wal-mart’s Parent’s Choice brand formula is a great alternative to those pricey name brand formulas… and they are just as good (if not better!)
• If you need to let a baby (or two) cry for a little bit so you can tend to the other one or something else (such as a burning dinner) so be it!  It won’t hurt a baby to cry for a little bit… actually babies NEED to cry to develop!
• Take time out for yourself as well as taking time out for your relationship.  Enjoy that bubble bath, put candles out on the dining table and have dinner after the babies are asleep (even if you order a pizza!) so you and your spouse can talk about “adult” things and not focus on diapers or drool for even a few minutes!

Every partner in a marriage/relationship with children needs to be open and honest with his or her partner about the stresses and concerns they are experiencing.  This is just as true with parents of multiples.  Maintain open communication with your spouse or partner.  Let him/her know what is on your mind, what is bothering you, what areas you can use help in, and don’t forget that you were a couple first before you were parents of these little miracles!  A person needs to take care of him/herself before being happy in his/her relationship, and to be good parents together, the couple needs to focus some time on each other.  Enjoy yourselves and remember what brought you both together in the first place!

Jennifer
Mom to Juliana (7), Louis (11m) and Anthony (11m)
Expecting #4 in September!
www.nevaland.com

Parents in today’s society need to make a lot of decisions.  Some decisions are not always so easy.  Others may be made for them.  One decision a family often needs to decide is what to do once a child comes with regards to working or staying home.

The difference between our generation and our parents generation is that most of the time, the family was able to manage with only one income.  Today, this is not generally the norm.  Families often need to have both parents working in order to manage the finances and live a decent lifestyle.  Additionally, there are many more single parent households today than there was twenty years ago.  In both of these instances, parents need to work outside of the home in order to make ends meet.  The next decision which would have to be made would revolve around the care of the children.

Some families are able to choose between having a parent stay home or having both (or the only) parents work outside the home.  Families may need to make various sacrifices in this case, and this might not be an easy decision as well.

After my oldest daughter was born I returned to work when she was three months old.  Although only working two and a half days per week, I was fortunate enough to have family members to watch her during that time.  I felt comfortable with her care, although I would constantly be afraid of missing her firsts…  first word, first steps, any firsts.

When my twins were born, the decision was not as easy.  This time there were two babies to care for, the family members who had watched my daughter were now older and had moved a little further away, and there was still the seven year old who had to be picked up from school every day as well.  I was a full time social worker/therapist for a foster agency in NYC, so I needed to make a decision fast.  I priced day care centers and private care for my children, and between the twins and the after-school care for my older daughter (plus the private school tuition we were already paying), and could not believe how expensive care was!  Three-quarters of my salary would be going towards the care of the kids!  My husband felt that we could manage, although it would be difficult, if I stayed home until the twins were a little older.  He also felt more comfortable knowing the children were home with Mommy instead of at a center or a stranger’s home.  As a therapist, I have managed to obtain part-time work from home and during non-conventional hours to help offset some of the missing salary.  We have been very fortunate to be able to work things out this way.  Many families do not have this choice.

When deciding whether one parent will stay home with the children or if both parents will return to the outside world of work, many factors need to be considered.  Among them, some things to consider are finances, childcare, family obligations, and the family’s ability to manage the stresses involved with making either decision.  If it is decided that a parent will stay home, financial sacrifices may need to be made, adjustments to the families habits may need to be made (for example, the family may need to eat out less, travel less, or downgrade their car), and both parents need to remember that the stay-at-home parent IS in fact working every day, as being a parent is a full-time job in itself.  If the family decides to have both parents return to work, other factors need to be considered and decided on.  Such factors include (but are not limited to) what the family will do if a child becomes sick (who stays home from work to take the child to the doctor and remain with the child until he or she can return to daycare or school?), how to manage homework (is it done during daycare or will a parent help the child after work?), how will the household chores be broken up and who will do the cooking, cleaning, laundry, banking, shopping, etc.?)  Of course this is just a partial list of things to keep in mind, both decisions require planning and sacrifice among both parents.

Parenting is not easy, and takes a lot of planning, consideration, factoring, sacrificing, and flexibility to adjust any decisions as time goes on.  If both parents take the time out to discuss all options, things are likely to go more smoothly for everyone, especially the children. 

Jennifer
Mom to Juliana (7), Louis (11m) and Anthony (11m)
Expecting #4 in September!
www.nevaland.com

For a few months now, Jayce who is now 7 mo. old has been enjoying a wide variety of baby foods. We started off with the basic Gerber Stage 1 applesauce. He loved it!! Nice smooth consistency and my husband (designated taster) said that is taste really good!!

I think I need to add that to the list of parenting mistakes, because I gave Jayce the sweet stuff 1st !!! We had a really difficult time adding veggies to his diet. He would perch his lips closed really tight at the sight of anything green!! Well, after a few weeks of enjoy solid foods had passed I went into bargain shopper mood. The Gerber was starting to get a little pricey as we began to purchase more and more.

On a shopping trip to my favorite Wal-Mart Supercenter for formula, I noticed the Parent’s Choice baby food. I liked the price compared to the Gerber that was sitting right beside it and I really liked the flavor choices offered. I picked up 1 or 2 just for Jayce to try. I love the fact that they were offering fruit and veggie combinations, like

Squash/Pears
Apples/Carrots

Jayce was an immediate fan of the Squash/Pears, and so was Big Jeromy (my husband, the taster). We were just excited to be able to get something other than Apples down. But not only were we getting his favorite down, fruits but also getting some veggies down. It was a win-win situation.

Now the best part of all, the comparison  $$$$$$$ and amount!!

With my Gerber I was paying around $1.00 for 2-2.5oz meals. For my Parent’s Choice I pay around $.85 for 2-4oz meals. Now you do the math!! I am not say that there is ANYTHING wrong with the Gerber, but I am able to stretch my dollar a little further with the Parent’s Choice and I love the varieties offered, while not sacrificing on the nutritional value.

-Shanta

So, what is your favorite season? It’s hot here. There are four season where I live… almost summer, summer, still summer and fall but still almost summer. I have lived here in the south my entire life, but I have to say that I get a little jealous of those that have real falls with turning leaves and apple picking. I am, however, not all that jealous of the terrible snow and ice storms that some get (although I didn’t see real snow until I was in my early 30s).

In all seriousness, I would say that fall is my favorite time of year followed closely by spring. I enjoy being able to wear long sleeves for a few days during the fall. I just love fall clothing. I also love football, fall food (Thanksgiving food is something I look forward to all year) and taking the boys to pumpkin patches. My hubby and I were married in the spring and it was the perfect day, cool and sunny. I just love being able to play outside with my boys without breaking out in a sweat.

I know it will be a couple months before we have any truly cool days here, but a girl can dream right? I am already eyeing cute fall clothes for the boys and thinking about hot cider and pumpkin pie.

It’s been the hottest, driest summer I can remember. Our grass is so crunchy from the drought and just walking outdoors results in being drenched in sweat (not pleasant). Dreaming about cooler weather gets me through the days.

Shannon
Potamus Prefers
http://www.potamusprefers.com/

I am guilty of having a potty mouth. I don’t know how I became that way. My mom didn’t really curse, unless she was super frustrated. My dad was probably the one that would insert curse words nonchalantly in conversation as if the sentences just went more smoothly with them in it. They can even be used to express happiness or excitement. My husband suggests being in the military contributed to his potty mouth. Whatever the cause, it’s present in our lives and needs to stop before our son becomes a parrot and repeats everything we say!

What’s funny is that some of our friends who don’t even have kids and aren’t around them on a daily basis have completely changed their word habits when they are around Shaughn. One day, a friend came over and was telling me about her stressful job while Shaughn was playing with his toys on the floor beside her. When a potty word was used she whispered and spelled it. I started to laugh and assure her Shaughn would not catch on the word. The spelling of it, made it more funny to me. A different time, another girl friend of mine also whispered when she used a potty word.. well, several potty words. I was surprised at how natural it came to them to whisper these words and even spell them.

Then I realized, our friends are doing this, we need to start! I don’t want our son’s first word to be a bad one! I think in the back of my head I was comfortable assuming that Shaughn wouldn’t understand or repeat anything we say til he’s about 2, but children start saying words before then! So eliminating these potty words entirely would be best, and if we can’t, at least spell them out. Who knows what day your baby will say his or her first word, but you definitely don’t want it to be one that will make you blush. I get lessons from parental pros, new parents, and see, even from people who don’t have any children. Do you have any funny stories about this? Or if anyone else had a potty mouth problem, what did you do to make sure your child wouldn’t accept it into their vocabulary?

-Krystle

Today was a nice day. We woke up, completed the mad dash to get dressed and ready and then headed to church. After that, we indulged in Chinese food and celebrated my mother and father-in-law’s 17th anniversary. Early afternoon brought naps for the boys and laundry for mom then we went over and had watermelon with family. Such a nice day, right? Well, most of it!

I had the whole evening planned out. I was going to finish some blog posts, work on laundry then read the book I am into right now (Enough Already!: Clearing Mental Clutter to Become the Best You by Peter Walsh). Right before we left to come home after the yummy watermelon feast, a huge downpour of rain began, complete with thunder, lightning and a tornado warning. We NEEDED the rain BADLY so that was a welcome occurrence (sans the tornado warnings). We have been in a drought for months so I don’t think the electricity knew what to do. We got home and, you guessed it, no electricity. This wouldn’t be too bad, except we hadn’t eaten dinner yet and we were all hungry and it’s very hot here.

You are probably thinking this is a complaint post. Not at all! Actually, it was a blessing, not only because we needed rain, but because it forced us to spend more family time together. We headed to a local fast food place and enjoyed watching the boys eat their kid’s meals. We chatted with other families in the same predicament (no electricity) and had a nice time. Blog posts, laundry and book reading can wait, but family time is precious and my boys won’t always be this easy to please.

I am learning to find the good, the blessings, and little gifts in things that, at first glance, seem like inconveniences.

Shannon
Potamus Prefers
http://www.potamusprefers.com/

Jayce’s 6 month birthday is fast approaching!! I can’t believe how fast time is passing. I am trying to catch every single moment. Everywhere we go I am equipped with my Kodak, my Flip & our Handycam. You should see me trying to snatch them out when the kids do something cute. With Jayce having such a low birth weight (5.2lbs.) I tend to worry too much about EVERYTHING, especially when it comes to hitting major milestones.

I guess it’s time to put my worrying aside, because my little guy will be taking off any day now. He pushes up on all fours like a super hero, all smiles!! He is not exactly moving forward yet, but he has a little bounce with it, and it is “toooo cute”.

He rocks back & forth with an
I think I can, I think I can, I think I can attitude!!!!

I am very proud to witness my baby reaching his milestones, but it’s still a little bitter sweet to see him growing so fast. It is so true what they say “Cherish every moment, it goes fast!”

He is such a happy baby, I wish I could bottle that smile up and sell it on EBay. I am not looking forward to his upcoming 6 month well check!! Pray for me,

Please take a look at his feature film debut  :)

Shanta

I am enjoying that fact that baby Jayce (5 ½ months) is sleeping all night. What I can’t seem to understand is what happened to those good old, hour long naps!!
He use to take the best naps around early afternoon and again around dinner time. It gave me just enough time to wash a load of clothes, start lunch/dinner, and just sit and exhale for a few minutes.

Now that rascal is sleep for about 15 minutes and that big head pops up looking around. I am very thankful for the full 8 hrs of sleep at night. But I still need that hour during today to play catch up! I guess you never really get caught up when you have children. I guess I will spend the next 18 years chasing my own tail/playing catch up!!! Lololo

Word to the wise, even if it is only a 15 minute “Cat Nap”, when they sleep-you better sleep!!

Oh well, I love it!! Wouldn’t change a thing,,,

Here is a picture of my little sleeping beauty,

-Shanta

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