Juliana has been having a big interest in plants.  I am not quite sure where she gets it from as I do not have nor have I ever had a green thumb.  But when we were looking through the project ideas in the fall, she kept going back to projects with plants.  She decided on experimenting on how milk affects the plant’s growth in place of water.  After a few days of thinking about it, she decided she also wanted to try to experiment on how salt water would affect the plant’s growth.  Honestly, I was not sure how the outcome would be.  I was thinking that both of these variables would quickly kill the plants, but Juliana had some pretty good arguments.  She thought that the calcium and vitamins in the milk would help the plants.  And while she did not necessarily think that the salt water would make the plants grow, she had a great theory.  One day, while driving home from school, she turned to me and said “You know, Mommy…  some plants live by the ocean and there is salt in the air and they get wet from the salt water in the ocean.  So maybe the saltwater might work!”  I was very intrigued myself!

In the end, the plant with the milk thrived.  It grew bigger and fuller than even the water plants.  And within a few short days, the plants with the salt water died.  The funny thing is, the plants with the milk, while beautiful, stunk beyond belief from the milk.  And the plants with the salt water developed salt crystals on top of it.

Juliana’s project really came out amazing.  She was proud of herself too!  We’ve already started talking about next year!

Although this is a tough week for me, it brings me back to another year that Paul went on a business trip.  This week 3 years ago, I got pregnant with our youngest child.  We were not trying, as a matter of fact, our twins were only 6 months old at the time.  And while I was in shock for three weeks after finding out I was expecting again, Joseph has been the best surprise of our lives. 

I know that the week will fly by and Paul will be back.  I know that (although the week may be rough!) I will survive the week and things will be back to normal in the blink of an eye, as Paul returns home.  I just hate being away from him for a week!

I have done, no exaggeration, about 18 loads of laundry so far this week, and at this very moment, I have two full laundry baskets of dirty clothes to wash, dry, fold and put away.   I have to bread chicken cutlets and get my kids to sort their 4 puzzles that are all over the living room floor.  The baby is starting to get into everything, so he joins the ranks of his older siblings to add to my worries.  And to top it off, my husband is leaving on Tuesday for a 6 day business trip on the other side of the country, so I will be on my own for a bit. 

I know I will get out of this funk, I just have to take better care of myself.  Too much coffee and not enough healthy meals.  And of course increasing my exercise is a given as well.  We always take care of everyone else, and it is time to put Mommy first. 

Is anyone else in a funk this week:?

I remember when I was a little girl, when my mom would use the expression “Well, the fairies aren’t going to come in the middle of the night and clean it!” with regards to how we needed to pick up after ourselves.  I have tried this with my kids, and so far, it has not worked.  I do not know how they always manage to bring a snack into the living room or find any little paper to tear up on the rug.  And no matter what they eat for breakfast, lunch or dinner, under my dining room table is screaming “SWEEP ME!”  I have been doing a ton of laundry every week since we had the last three babies.  Now that it is winter time (more layers of clothing) and the boys are potty training at night (changing sheets every morning), I am doing more laundry than ever before.

The price of  laundry detergent and dryer sheets is ridiculous.  The store brand dryer sheets smell AWESOME and are a third of the price.  Thank goodness for that!  I also recently replaced my Swiffer Wetjet with a store brand device — do you believe this thing uses your own floor cleaner, the pads are washable (yes, this increases my laundry load BUT saves me a ton on disposable pads!) AND you don’t need batteries (it is a spray!)  I LOVE this thing!  Totally beats a mop and can run circles around the Wetjet.

With four kids, I just wish I could spend one day home and not have to clean up after someone all day long.  Until that happens, I guess I might as well call my cleaning supplies my friends.

We planned on resuming our hunt next year (the beginning of 2013).  In the meantime, I still get daily multiple listing reports, and we found out that the Seaford house was still for sale, at a DRAMATIC decrease in price.  Going into the New Year last weekend, we were certain that this was kismet.  After all, this house has been coming up for three years.  We had seen the decrease a year ago, and now another decrease.  This house was now SUPER affordable and still available.  We made an appointment with the listing agent for the 2nd of January and neither of us could sleep the night before.  We could TASTE being Seaford homeowners!

The house was everything we remembered, and it still was what we were looking for.  But renovating three bathrooms and a kitchen would add tens of thousands of dollars to the price of the home.  When the agent first said to us that she’d send us listings that were similar and in the same price range, I told her that if this house didn’t work out for us, we’d hold off on the hunt til our original plan of next year.   But when we got the listings later that afternoon and saw that the similar houses at the similar price (minus all the work!), we were completely intrigued. 

Almost a week later, we have five appointments set up tomorrow to look at houses.  Paul began the process of pre-approving us for a mortgage, and I should be thrilled.  After the health and happiness of our family, all I want is our own home.  So what am I afraid of?

I spent the majority of the day today doing laundry and tearing apart my living room (AGAIN!), sorting the toys, finding the missing pieces, sweeping (and sweeping and sweeping and sweeping… these kids always seem to find a snack and then find there way into the living room when I am on the floor or in a corner and can’t see them!) and rearranging.  I am happy to report that all of the puzzles (except one… but I am on a mission to find that one piece) have all of their pieces and all of the games (except one… GRRR) are in their respective boxes with all the pieces intact. 

I can be pretty certain that by the end of the week things will be a mess again.  I try and try to keep things in order, I put things with small pieces in the closet, I have cases and containers for all blocks and such, but no matter what I do and how I teach my kids to clean up after themselves, they always manage to make a mess.  My kids are wiseguys, too!  I keep saying “Only one toy at a time.  When you are done with a toy, put that away and you can take out a new toy”  And of course I am always met with some comment like “But Mom!  I am playing with these blocks and JoeJoe is playing with those cars!” or something like that.  I have tried again and again to get them all to play with one toy at a time (all three boys) but so far, no luck.  So with three toddlers each playing their own toy, we are bound to mix up some pieces! 

Ugh.  I guess I just have to deal with this until they are teenagers!  LOL!

First of all, I cannot believe how fast the year has flown.  I do not know if that is because I am constantly busy with my kids and dealing with three toddlers and a tween girl, or just because I am getting older.  But the one thing I have learned in working with my clients is to remember how truly blessed I really am. 

My year started out with tears and grief, as my Grandfather passed away on January 3.  I miss him dearly.  In March, I was laid off from my full-time “at-home” job of running the NYC MomsLikeMe site.  But then the year started looking up.  I re-vamped my Mommy’s Links site to a social network, we took the kids to DisneyWorld, found my niche in my little corner of the World Wide Web, and returned to counseling with Abilto. 

We’ve made a lot of progress at home as well.  I spend many months at home, because after all, with three infants, unless my husband was home or my mom was around to help me, it was quite difficult to get around.  Over the last few months, the twins started nursery school, and twice a week we all get into the car and get them to and from school.  One of the twins is completely potty trained, which makes my life much easier.  If only the other would follow suit!  And the baby is chock full of sentences and animation.  While life is completely chaotic, these last few months have been a lot of fun (well, when they are behaving!!!)

My husband and I took two weekend trips to the Poconos with friends, and we’re looking forward to our annual spring trip again.  We don’t have as much time alone together these days, but we make the best of every moment. 

So yes, I live a completely chaotic life, and I am sure it is only bound to get worse as these kids get older, but I am truly blessed.  I have a wonderful family, we have our health, and I love my career choices.  Thank you, 2011, for helping me remember these things.  Bring on 2012!

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

On top of it all, I was hosting Christmas dinner!  Luckily, my aunts helped with the artichokes and mushrooms and my mom had prepared the lasagna and meatballs.  My mother-in-law brought the antipasto, so in between TRYING to find my children amongst the toys, cars, boxes, ripped papers and garbage bags, I was preparing veggies and meat and other parts to our meal.  And every few minutes, I would glance into my living room and wonder WHERE IN THE WORLD ARE WE GOING TO HOUSE ALL THESE TOYS?

When all of our guests left, my husband and I decided we needed to do something, for if the kids woke up in the morning to this mess of toys, who knows where things would land and what would get misplaced or broken.  So we emptied their toy boxes and sorted out the old toys.  We opened all of the new toy boxes and he broke up the boxes for recycling.  We did our best to put what we could in the toy boxes, the new books went into the book case, the new DVDs into the entertainment center along with the new video games.  The board games we put in the closet, and all the new clothes went into a laundry basket to be brought up and put away. 

Could you imagine my delight when I could see my living room floor again?

Christmas is now four days ago.  This morning I was straightening up and found a shopping bag under the table with my Christmas Village on it (I had it covered with a long tablecloth and forgot I put the shopping bag under it) with more GIFTS for the kids!  My mom had brought them last week from a family friend and I was holding them until Christmas morning, and then it slipped my mind.  And don’t you know it – MORE TOYS!

We say it every year, and I know we will say it again next year – WE NEED TO STOP GOING OVERBOARD!  But then again, kids are only kids for a short time, and these memories they will have their whole lives.  I remember when my parents’ living room floor couldn’t be seen, and those were some of the best days of my childhood!

I hope you are all enjoying the (chaotic and sometimes messy!) holidays!

On behalf of Shelton Interactive and Chicken Soup for the Soul, I’d like to share with you a free e-book download of Chicken Soup for the Soul: Devotional Stories for Tough Times. 

Chicken Soup for the Soul books are available in e-book format for your e-reader, smart phone or computer! This free e-book works on all e-readers — Kindle, Nook, iPad, Kobo, iPod Touch, iPhone, and others, and all generations of them. Don’t worry, though. If you don’t have an e-reader (or receive one this holiday season) you can still enjoy this free book on your computer. 

The free download is included below. They are only available for a limited time.

To download from Amazon: http://amzn.to/shsW6O

To download from Barnes & Noble: http://bit.ly/tYS2cB

To download from Apple iTunes: http://bit.ly/tYiaoD

To download from Kobo Books: http://bit.ly/uMSyrX

Enjoy your book!

As today is Christmas Eve, I thought I would share this post that I created last Christmas… Although we are in the “most wonderful time of the year”, if you aren’t in the mood, this can be a very difficult time.

The holiday season is well in full swing! This is a wonderful time of year for many of us, although for some it can be the worst time of the year. As we celebrate this time of good tidings and cheer, my thoughts are with those families that may be having a tough time this holiday season, for whatever reason.

I am of Italian heritage. Years ago, after the death of a loved one, my relatives would spend months wearing only black, and the holidays would be fairly simple: no Christmas cards, no decorating, and no partying.

I remember when I was 13 years old, a cousin passed away. She was only 36 years old and left behind two young children. From that year on, my grandparents never decorated again for Christmas. Although they still gave us presents and my grandmother continued to cook dinner, it was never again the same for her.

Last September, just ten days after my two month old was born, my grandmother passed away. She had been sick for some time, and was eighty three years old. I had a hard time jump starting myself to prepare for the holidays last year, but I have four little children and cannot “skip” over Christmas just because I may not be in the Christmas spirit. And although my grandmother didn’t celebrate the holidays after she lost her niece, I am sure she would want me to make sure my children have a great Christmas. Once I started Christmas shopping and put up the tree, it was easier to get into the spirit. Although for me, I will never forget how Grandma always made Christmases special.

This past January 3, my grandfather passed away. The last time I saw him was on Christmas Eve. I miss him terribly. It has been almost a full year, but yet I still can’t help but think how the holidays will never be the same now that I have no grandparents left. And then I think about my kids and how they have their grandparents, and I know how important it is to celebrate with my family.

As parents, we often have to put aside our own feelings for the sake of our children. That might mean pushing ourselves to put a smile on our face when we really want to cry. That might mean sacrificing something we really want to get that special toy for our child. That might mean putting up a Christmas tree and sending out cards when you really want to skip right over December altogether.

I have always loved Christmastime. Even though Christmas this year will be hard without my grandparents, seeing the smiling faces of my four children on Christmas morning makes Christmas that much better. And as wonderful as it is, I am also reminded of another Christmas that was not so wonderful, and I did not have four beautiful children to brighten it up.

Before my oldest daughter was born, I lost two pregnancies. I found out I was pregnant in December of 2000, and I found out it was an ectopic pregnancy on December 27th. I had surgery on January 4th and came home January 5th to see the house still fully decorated for Christmas. I cried for hours while my family took the decorations down. I lost another baby only four months later, and once again was in a terrible place. Before getting pregnant with my daughter, I started to put all my thoughts down on paper. I wrote a poem and started to write about my bumpy road on becoming a mother. I now have four beautiful children, although I didn’t think I would ever get to that point. I became a Family Therapist to help other women and couples who were dealing with pregnancy loss and infertility, for I found there was not much available for me when I needed the help. After my daughter was born, I published “Becoming a Mother”. I have been truly blessed with my family. But every Christmas I am reminded of that awful season. Here is the poem I wrote:

Me…

Imagine for a second…
How a little girl dreams of becoming a mother –
A role in her life unlike any other.
Dreaming of the day she can hug her baby
“I’d like to have two or three, maybe.”
…that was me.
Imagine for a second…
A young woman is pregnant, and just found out.
Her feelings are mixed without a doubt.
She’s so thrilled yet a bit scared of the thought
Of the job ahead and everything to be taught.
…that was me.
Imagine for a second…
The pregnant woman has just been told
Of a poor diagnosis that is two-fold.
Her tube is bad, the baby has died,
How upset she is and how she has cried.
…that was me.

Imagine for a second…
Two months of torture, being so sad –
‘Could the remaining tube be just as bad?’
Then to her surprise, the wonderful fact –
She’s pregnant again, the tube is intact!
…that was me.
Imagine for a second…
The woman and her husband in weeks of pure bliss
‘We’re having a baby!” How great is this?
Looking forward to finally meeting the child growing inside.
The joy of ‘parents-to-be’ – just imagine their pride!
…that was me.
Imagine for a second…
Visiting the doctor, expecting a heartbeat.
‘The baby has died…’ – this child they’ll never meet.
A feeling of numbness, unable to speak,
Trying to stand, but feeling quite weak.
…that was me.

Imagine for a second…
The awful trip to the operating room…
It might as well have been her tomb.
For the second time, her child has died.
For the second time, they’re taking the child inside.
…that was me.

Imagine for a second…
Her husband wishes she’d return to herself,
As he looks at all the angels she’s collecting on a shelf.
Becoming a mother has taken over her life –
‘Is our family destined to be just husband and wife?’
…that was me.
Imagine for a second…
That little girl dreaming is now a wife
And she still has the dream she’s had all her life.
She would have never thought that what would be true
Is that here on earth she has no children, but Heaven has two.
She knows that God will one day bless her with children she’ll bear,
She holds onto that dream, and holds onto that prayer.
…this IS me.

In memory of two little souls I’ll never forget.
You’re looking down at Mommy, I bet.

I wish you all Happy Holidays. Hoping you are in the holiday spirit, if not for yourself, for your children.

I originally posted this on Naptime Stories on December 20th, 2009. With the holidays of 2011 quickly approaching, I thought I would share.