Naptime Blog

Juliana was my only child until she was six years old.  For so long she was my one and only.  Juliana is the best big sister, and she is so good with her brothers, but I know she also enjoys her time alone with me.  So I was thrilled to receive a pair of reviewer’s tickets to see Pinkalicious, the Musical.  (I received 2 tickets to see Pinkalicious compliments of the show to review the show).  The tickets were for a Sunday afternoon, and I couldn’t wait to take my little girl.

When I told Juliana about the show, she was excited.  I showed her the website, http://pinkaliciousthemusical.com/ , and thought the music and the video clip would get her even more excited.  Instead, my daughter got upset that I would want to take her to a “baby show” and that “only babies see that stupid show”.  I was crushed (and ticked off with her, which I made quite clear).  But after a few days, Juliana said she would love to have a Mommy’s Day Out with me.  So a few Sundays ago, we saw Pinkalicious.

Juliana is STILL singing the tunes from the show!  She LOVED it!  And honestly, so did I.  I must say, I had gotten a little worried myself that my daughter was going to be too old for the show, but after seeing it, I truly feel that she was the PERFECT age for the show, and the moral of the story is the lesson I try to teach my daughter all the time!  Despite Pinkalicious Pinkerton’s parents warning her to stop eating so many pink cupcakes, Pinkalicious does not listen and she turns pink.  The way to treat her condition “pinkititis” is to eat lots of green foods.

My daughter is almost 8 years old, but we still have these battles daily.  Juliana may not eat countless pink cupcakes, but she often thinks she is old enough to disregard our rules and directives to make her own choices.  And I enjoyed seeing part of myself in Pink’s mom.  She’s sitting at the kitchen table, working on the laptop with one hand, mopping the floor with the other, disciplining Pink and her brother all at the same time.  Juliana and I could relate to the show in many ways, and it was nice to see how this mother/daughter battle is not just a battle in our house!  My daughter needs as many reminders as possible to understand that my husband and I DO know what we are talking about!

The show was entertaining for me as a grown up, for my eight year old daughter, and for the MANY smaller children in the audience.  I think we can all relate as parents, and the kids can see similarities between the Pinkerton family and their own family.  Great show, great story, kept both of us interested, and I would recommend it to all!

Jennifer
Wife to Paul, Mom to Juliana (7), Anthony and Louis (1) and Joseph (4 months)
www.nevaland.com

The “Happiest Place on Earth” may be the happiest place on earth, and it may be the most family friendly place you will ever visit, but what if you have multiple babies?  Is it still family friendly?  And are you as a parent “happy” in the Happiest Place on Earth?

My husband and I decided to be spontaneous, something we cannot often do with our children, especially with three children under two years old.  I needed a vacation, and so we decided at the end of January that we would spend my daughter’s winter break in Florida.  We booked rooms with our timeshare in Orlando, and I was thrilled that we were going to get away from the snow and cold for a few days and spend a little time with Mickey Mouse.  We weren’t planning on visiting all the parks, and would play it by ear, but I figured we’d spend two or three days in Walt Disney World and introduce our little ones to this most wonderful family vacationing spot.  The boys adore Mickey Mouse and friends, and my daughter, although this would be her third trip to Disneyworld, was very excited.  As for Paul and I?  No matter how old I get, I still love to go to Disneyworld.  It is my favorite place to be.  So I was totally unprepared for anything less than an amazing vacation.

The only negative with planning something spur of the moment is that we didn’t get the chance to seriously research doing Disney with three babies.  I automatically assumed that we’d have no problems in Disneyworld, as it caters to young families.  This may be true, however, if you are a family like ours, Disney might not be the place to go…  believe it or not!

The first morning we awoke in Orlando, I was more excited than the kids were!  I couldn’t wait to see Mickey Mouse, I could not wait to see that castle in The Magic Kingdom, and I was so looking forward to the mid afternoon parade with all the characters, music and dancing.  We were unlucky enough to arrive in Orlando during the coolest week of the year, but I was determined to enjoy the week in the cooler weather.  After all, we had just left 26 degrees and a foot of snow in NYC.  Fifty-five degrees in Orlando was better than that!  Plus, I had only done the Disney parks in 95 degrees in the past, and waiting on lines in the heat and humidity, walking with the kids would be difficult.  Perfect.  As the park was open until 1 am that day, we decided to wait until 11 am to arrive, to give the sun some time to warm up Orlando.
We had to get through the crowds with my seven year old, a double stroller and a single stroller.  We thought it easier to take the two strollers than our triple.  We walked around a little bit, just letting the kids take it all in, and decided that the first ride we took them on was “It’s a Small World”.  The wait was only 30 minutes, so we went on.  I asked the attendant if I could wait on the line with the kids in the strollers until I got to the ropes, and she said we had to park our strollers.  Of course, having rules the way they are, I understood why they needed us to park our strollers.  I asked if there was any alternative, as we were only two adults with three babies (my seven year old cannot hold a baby in a crowd), and she said no.  I was a bit taken back, but again, rules are rules.  We parked the strollers, took the kids out, and got on the line.
As we expected, due to my boys getting bored and antsy (what toddler doesn’t?), it was a nightmare on the line.  Paul held the twins, and I held Joseph.  The twins wanted to get down, so Paul put them down.  I would hold one of their hands and Paul would hold the other’s hand.  Louis is into diving on the floor yelling “safe” (as in baseball sliding), and Anthony is the neat police, picking up every bit of food or paper that falls on the floor.  And wouldn’t you know it, both of the twins did exactly those two things while waiting in line.  So as one twin was throwing himself on the floor and the other was picking up every bit of Disney litter, Mommy and Daddy were in a sweat.  I need to remind you that we also had our 5 month old Joseph on this line, as we alternated which of us would hold Joseph and which of us would fight with twin toddlers.

We were still determined to enjoy our trip to The Magic Kingdom.  After all, we spent enough money to get in the park!  Tickets were almost $80 for each of us to get in and almost $70 for Juliana to get in.  For $240, we were CERTAINLY determined to get SOME fun in the day.  Don’t let anyone fool you.  You only save a significant amount of money if you go to the parks for multiple days.  And I don’t mean 2 or 3, I mean 7 or 10.  Well, if you buy the four day passes you save about $20 for a day.  But if you are like my family, who can’t possibly do all of these multiple days in the same trip, you have to add on the “no expiration” option, which adds a lot more to your ticket bill.  I often wonder if Walt Disney had those prices in his plan when he designed this amazing world. 
Well, those Disney people are not stupid after all, because the look on the boys’ faces when our boat went through “It’s a Small World” was priceless.  They loved every minute of it, as did Juliana.  And no matter how many times Paul and I sit through it ourselves, it is still amazing.  So off we went to continue on our park journey.

I asked the attendants on the Pooh ride if my husband could wait on the line with one of the little guys, and I would wait with the others in their strollers until he made it to the front of the line, to save us from fighting our kids on the long lines (as the lines were getting thicker at this point).  Once again I was told no.  Another attendant evidently felt sorry for me, and as obviously the senior of the two, he asked what he could do to help us.  I explained our dilemma that we could not possibly wait on one more line with three babies and our daughter with only two adults.  I told him that I was not trying to cut any lines, and that one of us was quite willing to wait on the long line with everyone else.  If they could allow us to do this, it would be very helpful, and I would meet him at the front of the line with the remaining children.  He said that even though it was busy today, he could help us out.  So he asked his colleague to assist me to the front of the line as my husband got up the ramp and was almost ready to board. 
Paul called my cell as he approached the ramp, as surprisingly, the line was moving quickly.  I took the twins out of their carriages, and the attendant helped me get to Paul.  I was thrilled.  And then, the line stood still.  Evidently, the “fast pass” line backed up, so they needed to take them first, having the rest of us wait.  And so once again, Paul and I were on the line for another twenty minutes with Juliana and three babies.  And once again, we were in a sweat, losing our patience and energy, and not very happy in the “happiest place on earth”.

We spent the next day at our resort, debating on whether to try another park or not.  We met other vacationers and resort workers, and asked for tips and pointers, should we decide to try the parks again.  A few people suggested lying, either renting a wheelchair and beating all the lines all together, or going to customer service and telling them one of my children had special needs to get a pass to avoid the lines, and honestly, this was NOT an option.  We were blessed with healthy children, and I won’t take advantage of special accommodations for those families who really need it due to disabilities or illnesses.  Although I do think my family could use special accommodations, we were not eligible for any without lying, so we decided that our first Disneyworld trip as a family of six would be an abridged version, and we didn’t visit any more parks.

Yes, Disneyworld has the “baby swap”, but that doesn’t help our family because we still have to wait on the lines with three babies and only two adults.  Yes, Disney has “fast pass”, but if you utilize this feature and your ticket says to return 3-4 hours later, if you are walking with multiple toddlers, do you really think it is conducive to return to that area of the park later on, when it takes so much effort to get around as it is?  Yes, The Magic Kingdom (and I believe all the other parks as well) has a baby care center, but only one in the park, so if you are on another end of the park and need to feed three babies or change three diapers, you need to use the bathroom (and wait on the baby changing table line) or use your strollers.  And a lot of the other “perks” Disney claims to offer for young families is ONLY an option if you are staying at a Disney resort.  As we utilized our time share, that didn’t help us.  But I DID visit the vacation desk at our resort, which was manned by a Disneyworld employee, and she could offer no other help for us.

Although I feel every child should experience Walt Disneyworld at the various stages in their lives: as toddlers, as preschoolers, as school aged children and as teens, I would certainly re-evaluate taking your toddlers if you have more than one toddler at a time, for Disneyworld is not very family friendly for families with multiple toddlers/babies.

Jennifer
Wife to Paul, Mom to Juliana (7), Anthony and Louis (1) and Joseph (4 months)www.nevaland.com

How quickly the 2010 Winter Olympics have come…  I personally am a Summer Olympics fan myself, but I do like some of the winter sports as well.  I remember the skating greats of the seventies and wonder why my eight year old daughter is not as interested as I was.  I used to imagine myself on the ice, skating beautifully, even would practice in my skates.  I never was that good.
If you were skating in the 2010 Winter Olympics, what song would you dance to?  Would it be a song you liked, a song that means something to you, your theme song?

One of my favorite movies is “Ice Castles” (movie from the 70s with Robbie Benson).  The theme song is “Through the Eyes of Love” by Melissa Manchester (am I showing my age?).  I always said that was the theme song to my life (or at least what I had hoped my life would be when I was a little girl!).  The movie is actually about an ice skater.  Lexie loses her eyesight while skating and then returns to skating later on. Here is a clip from the movie… makes me cry EVERY time I see it. Lexi skates for the first time at a competition and does not want her fans to know she is still without her eyesight…
Now that I am all grown up, married with children, I know that the song means so much more to me…  My husband is my Robbie Benson… He would come and save me after I fall because of the flowers…  And he would stick with me…
 
“Please don’t let this feeling end, it’s everything I am, everything I want to be.  I can see what’s mine now, finding out what’s true.  Since I found you, looking through the eyes of love”.
 
Makes me appreciate everything I have… and how I am exactly where I want to be.

What would YOU dance to?

Jennifer
Wife to Paul, Mom to Juliana (7), Anthony and Louis (1) and Joseph (4 months)
www.nevaland.com

Most days we find ourselves working round the clock.  As mothers (and often fathers!), we are up at the crack of dawn getting ready for the day.  We prepare meals, take out everyone’s clothes, and get everybody ready for their day.  Chores are endless and there are only 24 hours in a day.  Working mothers have two jobs, and any parent knows that being a mother is a full time job in itself, with constant overtime and no vacation days, sick days, or personal time.  But it never ends there.

When do we find the time to do everything else?  How can we squeeze in appointments, birthdays, play dates, cleaning out the closets, catching up with the latest best seller, or the hundred other things on our “to-do” list? Furthermore, how do we find the time (or energy) to focus on romance and keeping that relationship strong?  And what about “Mommy time”?  Does it even exist?

I am married with four children.  I work full-time from home and then have other jobs I do during the course of the month.  Approaching the end of every month, the crunch begins.  I have end of the month deadlines that I often find haunting me in the final days of every month because I never found the time throughout the month to complete them.  But after the crunch is over and it is the beginning of the next month, I wonder if it is lack of time or lack of motivation that led me to be behind yet again another month?

I have spoken to many mothers who say that they have no motivation to do anything that is not first priority, or I should say, what they consider to be priority at the moment.  Helena works full-time out of the home.  A single mother, she also does freelance writing to help with the bills.  She has attempted countless ways to try to help her get motivated to complete her writing each month, which often falls to the wayside.  Helena has asked me to help her get motivated to write her articles.

Renee also works full-time out of the home.  Mom of two, she lives with her fiancé and has a hectic schedule with two very active boys.  Renee loves to read, but finds it almost impossible to devote any significant time to the Best Seller List.  She finds herself sitting in the car while waiting for baseball practice to end, tempted to open that book, but then the phone rings or another mother comes up to the car to chat.  So she crawls into bed and manages to open a book (“I’ll just read a few chapters…” turns into an all-nighter) she spends the next day dragging and drained from a lack of sleep.  There is no ‘happy medium’.

That online master’s degree program that Jenna signed up for last year looked like the perfect solution to allowing her to complete that degree she has always dreamed of.  The benefits of an online program that we have today, while seeming to fit perfectly in Jenna’s life, are being met by the demands of her two toddlers and husband.  Jenna really wants to get this degree in motion, but is not motivated enough to get the ball rolling due to being so busy with the kids.

We ALL have good intentions, and the motivating factors behind these things (and others) should be enough to keep us going, but we are often too consumed in the demands of the day that we cannot get to complete what we set out to complete.  How can we get motivated and stay motivated?

Here are some things we can try, hoping it helps!

The Buddy System - Exercising, dieting, even spring cleaning, can often be easier to do and stick with when done with a friend.  I was most successful in my weight loss goals when my aunt (who was living in the apartment upstairs from me at the time) and I dieted together.  We would share recipes, celebrate our successes together, head out grocery shopping (for healthy foods and finds, of course) together, and help each other through our pitfalls together.

Group – Join a book club, and the other ladies in the club will help get you motivated to catch up on your reading.  There is more accountability and strength in numbers, and it will be more fun if you can be involved in the discussions and can discuss the books from your own viewpoints if you read the books!

Enlisting the help of your spouse/significant other – Whether your partner is your accountability buddy or if he/she helps out in some of your other chores so that you can complete the tasks you are seeking motivation for, having your spouse/significant other on board with you in your goals always makes things that much easier.  As a matter of fact, the whole family should be on board to help out where they can, and having stress lessened in one area can help you manage in other areas.

Reminders / Calendars / To-Do Lists – In the age of technology, I have finally become better at keeping track of things, due to the reminders I set up on my laptop and my blackberry.  As I learn of deadlines I need to make, I put them into the calendar feature.  I give myself a few days notice to remind me, and the notification is clear enough to remind me.  So when I have an article due on Tuesday, I set the reminder alarm to go off on Sunday, giving me two more days to complete it.  Unfortunately there is always the option to click the “snooze” button (same problem I always had with alarm clocks each morning since I was younger!), so I cannot be guaranteed to get it done immediately, but at least the reminder is fresh in my mind at all times.

As mothers, we must remember that we are human first, not machines.  We are often our biggest critics, and if you can continuously remind yourself that you are doing a great job, it might be motivation enough  to keep you going!  Good luck!

Jennifer
Wife to Paul, Mom to Juliana (7), Anthony and Louis (1) and Joseph (4 months)www.nevaland.com

I remember being a little girl, dreaming of when I would be a wife and a mother.  I always wanted to have children, and it was something I dreamt of often.  Holding each of my four children, I am still amazed at how much I love them and how much they mean to me.  My husband is my best friend, and our family is everything I always hoped I would have.  But with having four children, three of them under two, I can’t say it is always easy.

Everything needs to be planned out, prepared and thought through beforehand.  When Paul and I started dating, we’d often decide last minute to pick up and go for a quick weekend away.  If, at 5:00 pm, I decided I was not in the mood to cook, when Paul got home we would go for dinner.  There is something about being spontaneous that makes things more interesting.

I have been feeling cooped up as it is very difficult to get out with the kids in the winter by myself, and needed a break.  So about a week and a half ago, my husband and I decided we would take a drive down to Florida with the kids.  Juliana was off for President’s Week/ winter break, Paul got a few days off, and we packed up and headed in our new minivan from New York to Florida.  We own a time share with Wyndham, so I tried booking their Orlando resort, but had to book Daytona for 3 nights then Orlando for 2, as it was so last minute. 

SPONTANEITY!  It feels great!  Can’t do that much anymore! 

Within a little while we realized I booked Daytona Beach the weekend of the Daytona 500.  At least 12 people told us that Daytona during the Daytona 500 was a crazy place to be.  That didn’t deter us.  Neither did the 15 hour drive (both ways) that was ahead of us with three babies and a very impatient almost eight-year-old.  There was something so wonderful and liberating to just be able to almost literally “pick up and go”, that nothing else mattered.

Minivan’s all packed, kids are ready to go, and Paul and I are ready for our long drive.  I will drive for the first three hours so Paul can nap and then he intends to drive the rest of the night.  We plan on doing most of the drive while the kids are sleeping.  At least that is our plan!

Stay tuned for details on how it all went!

Jennifer
Wife to Paul, Mom to Juliana (7), Anthony and Louis (1) and Joseph (4 months)
www.nevaland.com

I just signed up to become a Mom-Bassador with Mothers Day Party!  I will invite a few of my friends over on Mother’s Day weekend and be a part of the Largest Mother’s Day Party in the world!  I’m going to get free goodies for me and my friends, and it is a great feeling to know that I will be joining 200 other moms around the country, working together, helping each other, celebrating MOMS!

Can you imagine inviting a few of your best friends and family over for a fun-filled afternoon or evening that includes a special video, worldwide connection, FREE stuff and a program of activities. Your event can include networking, health information, financial awareness, food focus, green, music, arts, crafts and more.

All you need to do to get involved is agree to host a party in your home, place of business, local bookstore, club restaurant or community center. Sign up and tell us what you want your event to look like. We’ll network you in with women everywhere, send you goodies, entertain you with music and literature and mentor if you to get started with your own business.

Here’s some more info about Mothers Day Party:  It’s a WORLDWIDE PARTY! But, the best part is, that we are all about creating new ways for women to be seen, heard and recognized. We want to shatter stereotypes and encourage diversity. We want to support YOU, the woman inside the role of mom. If you’re not a mom, then we still want you, because EVERYONE mothers someone or something. Ultimately mothering is not about biology but about psychology. It’s the nurturing we do in the world for our businesses, families, talents, home and planet.

See, we’re just about as inclusive as it gets, and MOST IMPORTANT, we don’t just want to just feed you the kool aid. We want you to find out for yourself, through meaningful interactions, inspired self-reflection and empowered activities just how incredible YOU are.

Visit www.mothersdayparty.com to join me and become a Mom-Bassador!

Jennifer
Wife to Paul, Mom to Juliana (7), Anthony and Louis (1) and Joseph (4 months)www.nevaland.com

The new generation does not know life without cell ph0ones, Blackberries, I-Pods, DVRs, WI-Fi, Bluetooth and more.  As a matter of fact, even adults often wonder how we survived years ago without all of these things.  But we did, and we did it well.  As children, we would play outside and make up games, socialize with the neighborhood children, use our noggins.  The children of today use their noggins in quite a different way.  My eight year old knows more about computers than my Mom does.  She can wire a DVD player and play movies for her younger brothers but my Dad cannot.  It is amazing what the advancements in technology are allowing us to do.  But are there negatives to innovation when it comes to our children?

Technology and Literacy: Adversely related?

One mom recently posed the question: If children are texting and messaging on social networking sites with all of these acronyms and shorthand lingo, will this affect their grammar and vocabulary as well as writing ability?

As a family therapist and a mother, my perspective remains the same for this as it does for many other issues…  As a parent, we have a duty and responsibility to teach our children and to enforce the importance of education.  While the styles and methods of teaching (also due to the advancements in technology and keeping up with current times) may have changed from when we were students, proper English has not changed, nor has the content of what children will learn in school changed.  School curriculums have not changed, nor will they… your child will be learning the proper way to write, the correct grammatical formats and weekly spelling tests continue. So as long as our children are in school and as long as we as parents are stressing the importance of staying in school and studying to learn, they will be fine.  We need to be aware as parents how the child is doing in school.  We as parents need to be sure we are monitoring their progress.

With all the advancements of today, children (and adults) seem to be moving at a speed we’ve never moved before.  We can send information in the blink of an eye.  We can find out information just as quickly.   The negative to that is that kids always seem to need to do something: watching television/movies, texting, surfing the internet, playing video games; and children often report boredom when they are not. In keeping with the generation, adults need to be a little more creative in order to keep them motivated and keep them learning. Many adults have found ways to do this.  Moving with technology, some teachers are using computers and cell phones in a positive way with the students: emailing assignments, having notes/information available for the students online, utilizing text messaging and/or social media sites to remind students of assignments, keeping parents engaged with emails and text messages.  I recently read Read Between the Lines:  A Humorous Guide to Texting with Simplicity and Style by Shawn Marie Edgington.  The author discusses some teachers are even using special software where teen students can text in questions during class– helping those who wouldn’t normally raise their hands, keeping some questions and comments anonymous to the other students, and engaging children more effectively because they can relate better.  I’d be curious to see how these classes are doing with grades/standardized test scores as compared to classes that are just utilizing traditional means of learning such as the chalkboard and notebooks.  Certainly studies will be done soon on this!

Rude or respectful?

I am a happy Blackberry owner, and the age of technology has shaped my career and the way I run my day.  I am able to work from home and stay with my children as I work for an online mother’s website because of advanced technology.  I can take my daughter to her dentist appointment without missing an important email.  I can hold conference calls while feeding my infant and giving the twins Cheerios.  I can run around the corner to get milk at the deli and not miss that important message that says my meeting was changed from 9am to noon. 

With all the demands of work and life, I have also become guilty of reaching for my Blackberry when I hear the notification of a new email, even at the most inopportune of times.  I have sat at dinner with family and replied to a text from one of my discussion leaders who was having a problem on the forum and needed my assistance.  And while the advanced technology worked wonders for my job, I was rude for interrupting dinner to move my thumbs and reply to something that arguably could have waited until after dinner.

As an adult, I know that there is a time and place for everything, and although I use the excuse “this is all part of my job”, I must admit it gets a little addicting.  I recognize this and know I need to utilize by phone/computer at more appropriate times.  As a mother, I recognize I better adjust this fast, because my children are very quick learners.  My husband and I went out to dinner not too long ago and across the room I saw a family eating their dinner: a mother and father and a little girl of about seven or eight years of age.  The girl was sitting at the table with her Nintendo DS while the parents ordered dinner.  What was striking was that every time I looked across the room, the little girl was still playing with her DS, even while the family was eating dinner.  I found this totally inappropriate, and commented so to my husband.  Since my children were infants we always sat down to eat dinner as a family, often with the baby at the table in his bouncy seat while the rest of us ate.  We always wanted to teach our children the importance of this family time and the respect to sit together, eat together and hold a family conversation regularly.  Although this is not possible for every family due to life demands of work and school, I wholeheartedly believe that every family should set aside at least one day per week to eat as a family, and there should be no video games, telephones, or other distractions.  Therefore, I have begun to make a conscious effort to remain respectful to my family and leave the emails and texts until after dinner.

Technology is moving at the speed of light (I believe that phrase was already used before in a commercial!) and the current generation is moving just as quickly.  If we utilize these advances positively and make the best of today’s lifestyles, there is no need to compromise our children’s intelligence, positive behaviors and habits, and we can all advance with technology together.

Jennifer
Wife to Paul, Mom to Juliana (7), Anthony and Louis (1) and Joseph (4 months)www.nevaland.com

Notice I did not call myself a Soccer Mom.  I am not sure why the term Soccer Mom was created, but Soccer Mom doesn’t quite fit me.  You can refer to me as Softball Mom, Girl Scout Mom, Choir Practice Mom…   In the past I have even been Gymnastics Mom, Dance Class Mom, Play Practice Mom or After School Program Mom.  I am sure at some point I will be Baseball Mom, Football Mom, Hockey Mom, Boy Scouts Mom, maybe even Bowling Mom, Wrestling Mom, Debate Club Mom,  and yes, quite possibly one day I might just actually be the proverbial Soccer Mom.  Whatever you call it, earlier this month, we finally joined the ranks of millions of other families and traded in our SUV (which was technically a CUV, Cross Over Vehicle) for a minivan.  So I am now an official “Minivan Mom”.

Being an at-home mom, I often feel that I have lost touch with the “grown-up” world.  I know how important I am to four little kids and a man that calls himself MY husband, but I sometimes feel that I lost my individuality along the way.  As I see my daughter grow so rapidly, and my little baby boys are now tiny little men, I am reminded that my own childhood is a memory.  I guess a part of me was holding on to my “truck” as a means of keeping young, although that doesn’t make much sense.  Honestly, sometimes even I don’t understand my train of thought!

Anyone and everyone who has children and owns a minivan has been telling me for years how I will be very happy to make this move.  Getting 3 babies in and out of a third row seat in an SUV was getting so difficult, even when my husband was with me, that it became a headache to go shopping or visiting.  And traveling with 4 kids, three under two is not easy.  I either have a double stroller with a Snap N Go for the little guy or a triple stroller, either taking up the entire back area in storage in my SUV. 

We are now the proud owners of a 2010 Chrysler Town and Country Touring.  Once my children realize exactly how much storage space we have in this minivan they are going to drive me crazy hiding toys and videos, possibly even each other.  We have dual DVD players, and each of them can have a different video or game going on them, which means my daughter can watch High School Musical while my boys can watch Yo Gabba Gabba and mommy and daddy can listen to Sirius radio.  I cannot wait to go on a long trip just to try all this out (of course we’ve tried it out on shorter trips, but would love to make a trip down south with all of these gadgets!).  Although it won’t be easy getting the boys in and out of ANY vehicle in the next few years, it has been much easier to get them in the minivan than the truck.  And I am AMAZED with how much room I have with the strollers in the back… we even went food shopping and forgot to take the carriages out and had plenty of room for the packages!  Maybe next time we can venture to the grocery store WITH the kids (nah…!)

I am amazed with how much I am enjoying the features in my minivan and how family friendly it really is.  I am slowly getting used to the idea of being a Minivan Mom, and am making the best of it.  Maybe in about 18 years I can get that two seat Mercedes!

Jennifer
Wife to Paul, Mom to Juliana (7), Anthony and Louis (1) and Joseph (4 months)www.nevaland.com

The most romantic day of the year is approaching very quickly.  The jewelry commercials are in full swing, making the day seem magical and amazing.  And for some of us, maybe it is.  If you are a parent who is married or in a romantic relationship, why shouldn’t it be?  Just because we have kids and jobs and chores and responsibilities doesn’t mean we cannot enjoy the day and the notion of “St. Valentine’s Day”.  As a matter of fact, maybe it isn’t a bad idea after all.  As a Marriage and Family Therapist, I always stress the importance of keeping the romance alive in a marriage.  It is so easy to forget to nurture the relationship when there are so many other things going on in the family.  So Valentine’s Day seems like a great day to focus on the romance and get those butterflies in your stomach once again.  All we need to do is be a little creative and have fun in the process!

Here are some ideas to help you have the best Valentine’s Day!  We can even involve the children, too!  Well, they can be involved in some Valentine’s Day fun!

What do you want for Valentine’s Day?

The stores are filled with chocolates and candy.  Florists love this time of year because their flower sales are never better than on Valentine’s Day.  Maybe you haven’t gotten chocolate hearts or roses since you were dating.  Would you like them again now?  Why not hint.  Or better yet, ask!  And if your budget does not allow for a dozen overpriced roses that will die in a few days (I love roses myself but I know some people do not like the thought of wasting money on something that will die in a short time), tell your significant other that you would LOVE a single red rose that represents so much and won’t break the bank.  Even dollar stores have silk flowers that will last much longer than the real thing, and it is the thought that counts, right?  Romance does not have to cost a fortune, and if you want to exchange the traditional chocolates and flowers gifts for Valentine’s Day, let your man know that’s what you want.

Turn on the television and you will see all the commercials for the different jewelry stores.   The open heart, the heart pendant, the hugs and kisses bracelet… gold, diamonds… diamonds, gold.  Are you overdue for a piece of jewelry?  You can give some hints!  Only you and your significant other know what is in your budget, and if your budget allows for a piece of jewelry for Valentine’s Day, why not tell him exactly what you want?  Be specific, show him a photo, take him to the jewelry store and show him.  If your honey is the type that likes to surprise you (and you are always happy with his choices) – GREAT!  If not, there is nothing wrong with giving a suggestion or two!

You might want a gift certificate for a mani/pedi, a massage, a day at the spa… voice your suggestions to your Valentine…  and I hope you get what you want! 
And while you’re at it, Valentine’s Day is a great time of the year for some “couple time”.  Although it might be difficult to get a dinner reservation on Valentine’s Day, and it might be hard to get a sitter, consider either going out a few days before or after the 14th, or order in.  It might also be a good time to whip out the recipe book on foods that are aphrodisiacs, put the kids to bed early, light a candle and enjoy your meal!

What to get your guy for Valentine’s Day:

In keeping with the same theme, why not ask your man what he wants for Valentine’s Day?  And if he is like my husband, who never helps by answering “nothing” or “I already have everything that I want”, you can always get him chocolates!  Other old favorites: cologne, a watch, anything electronic, tickets to ANY sporting event, a gift certificate to the nearest sports bar, a gift certificate to the movies or the video store, sexy boxers, or even a sexy nightie for YOU to wear FOR him!

Get Creative

Why not take out a 2 line ad in your local newspaper expressing your love to your man?  Or how about taking him on a surprise date to a place he’d enjoy: a driving range, a paint ball adventure, a car show are all interesting ideas.  I am always into personalized gifts, no matter how small.  Wouldn’t it be cute to have some fortune cookies personalized for your sweetie on Valentine’s Day?  And even if you have had a tough week, try to find a few moments in the course of the evening to flirt with your husband.  Send a cutesy or flirty text message…  maybe even a little naughty.  Give him a big kiss when he comes home from work (or when you get home from work).  Try to find the energy to enjoy each other.  After all, it is the day for lovers! 

Involve the Kids

Have the kids do Valentine’s Crafts for Daddy.  Bake some heart shaped cookies or cupcakes with the kids for dessert.  I always loved when my father came home from work on Valentine’s Day.  He’d bring home roses and chocolates for my mother and a chocolate heart for each of us.  We have continued this tradition with our children, and now that we are a family, we make it a day of love for the whole house, not just romantic love.  It adds to the ambience of the day, and makes everything a little sweeter.  When the kids go to bed (or to Grandma and Grandpa’s!) then it becomes a romantic holiday. 

If you are a single parent, why can’t your little one be your Valentine?  Make each other little cards.  Not only will you be enjoying some quality time with your children, he/she will love the opportunity to show you his or her creativity!

However you decide to celebrate (or not celebrate) Valentine’s Day, it only comes once a year.  Be creative, have fun, and show those you love the most how much they mean to you.

Enjoy!

Jennifer
Wife to Paul, Mom to Juliana (7), Anthony and Louis (1) and Joseph (4 months)www.nevaland.com

When I was my daughter’s age, there was no such thing as cell phones, Blackberries, I-Phones…  We used Encyclopedias to find out information on any given topic.  We had the telephone book to find a home or business phone number, all landline phones.   We did not own a computer until I was in my early teens, and the first time I used the internet was on dial-up (gasp!), but didn’t know it was so slow because I had nothing to compare it to.  My daughter is amazed that growing up there were no cell phones, no Wi-Fi and internet connections, no technologically advanced means of interacting.

After I finished my homework each day, I actually went outside, walked a few doors down and rang a friend’s doorbell to see if she was done with her homework yet so we could play.  We chatted for hours, but in person.  We played and made up games and had fun. 

Kids today have fun, but quite differently than we did.  Although I am not quite certain I am convinced it is as healthy as going out in the fresh air and “running bases” for three hours with your friends face to face (friends that my parents knew and their parents knew me), but we have to make the best of what we have, right?  My husband and I keep up with much of the latest in technology whenever we can (although I do not own anything Blue Ray yet!) and intend to keep my children up with the latest in technology as well.

I recently reviewed a copy of Read Between the Lines: A Humorous Guide to Texting with Simplicity and Style by Shawn Marie Edgington – www.rbtlguide.com .  Although I consider myself up on all the acronyms and shortcuts to text messaging, I was curious what I still had to learn.  The book is an adorable guide, geared for women, moms like me, who want to keep up with today’s technology and stay in contact with the world. 

For me personally, I have a Blackberry and BBM (use my Blackberry Instant Messenger) more than texting, but the same rules pretty much apply.  Actually, the BBM allows me to carry on a conversation by text with those in my BBM list.  The only drawback is that I can only chat with those who have a Blackberry.

Shawn Marie lists a whole dictionary of acronyms that are used in texting.  I will certainly be going back into the book in my “travels” with not only texting, but with using Twitter, Facebook, my BBM, and other social networking sites and tools.  This shorthand guide is very helpful.  Shawn Marie also talks about other ways in which texting is making its “debut”…  how parents can use it to their advantage with their teens (Generation Text) instead of it being the enemy… how high school and college teachers/professors can use texting to engage the students more in class and in doing homework/projects…  how businesses, politicians, corporations, doctors offices, the older population, just about EVERYONE can jump in the technology bandwagon and start texting.

For me, I am already using these social media tools, and enjoyed the book as it clarified some things and gave me a great little guide.  For anyone who wants to get themselves into all the current technological advances but are afraid to test the waters, this book is a great place to start.

I can’t even imagine what technology will offer by the time my daughter is MY age!

Jennifer
Wife to Paul, Mom to Juliana (7), Anthony and Louis (1) and Joseph (4 months)www.nevaland.com