Naptime Blog

It’s official. Kiddo’s magical childhood is over. No more Santa Claus since last year and now, no more tooth fairy. I’ve been able to get away with being the tooth fairy without being fingered.

There was one time when I forgot to take the tooth and put the money under his pillow. He was around 5 and began to cry when he saw that the tooth was still there. I was so tired the night before that I snoozed the alarm clock until it was time to get him up for school. Bad tooth fairy! In what I believe to be one of my most brilliant mommy moments ever, I sent kiddo to the bathroom to get ready and had an argument with myself. I went into his room closing the door behind me and started an argument with the “Tooth Fairy.” She ended up (with a European accent – not really sure what country) explaining how she was tired from traveling all around the world collecting teeth and leaving money. She said that she was so tired, she fell asleep before taking kiddo’s tooth and leaving the money. After having a “multiple personality moment”, I slipped two dollars under kiddo’s pillow before opening the door.

Fortunately, kiddo was still in the bathroom brushing his teeth when I told him to check under his pillow again. He found his two dollars and then asked me what happened. I told him that I had a conversation with the Tooth Fairy (hey, it is true even if I’m the tooth fairy!) and told him how she was tired and fell asleep. He was very happy with that. Until now.

The same thing happened, except kiddo’s almost 11. He lost one of his molars (with all those missing teeth he looks like he’ll need dentures) the night before. I snoozed away until it was almost time to get kiddo up. I had three dollars ready to sneak under the pillow and tip toed to the door. And what do I find when I get there – kiddo wide awake! Argh! My cover was blown and kiddo knew right away who the Tooth Fairy has been all this time. But, I think he appreciates that I tried for so long to keep the magic alive for him. It’s a bittersweet moment for me because of two things: 1) I don’t have to pretend to be the “Tooth Fairy” anymore and 2) kiddo’s growing up. But, it’s nice to have these memories to look back on to laugh and share with him.

Recently I made a switch in my work, leaving the foster care job I really enjoyed going elsewhere to make more money and have better work hours. And I was very unhappy with that decision. The work while doable was simply too demanding and draining. Besides that, the environment was very negative.

I left a job that I had been mostly happy with because I needed to take care of my son financially (my salary had been frozen for a couple of years & it took a toll on me). My previous job wasn’t perfect, but I really benefitted from it – earning my degree, my licensure, getting great support from my co-workers and feeling very fulfilled by the work.

In leaving that job for the other one, it took me back to my first “real” job. I began as a temp and impressed the managers so much that I was offered a permanent, union job. Then I found out I was pregnant. So I stayed there for seven long years. The first five were the worst because my talents were being wasted, my mother passed away and there were serious problems in my relationship with my son’s father. Through it all, my son was my motivation. He became that beautiful face that I studied day in and day out when I felt like I’d be stuck there forever.

After three years, I was able to go back to school to finish my undergraduate degree and get tuition reimbursement. I had to keep a promise I made to my mother to finish and one to myself that I’d be a role model for my child. I graduated and continued on to get a Master’s degree in Mental Health Counseling.

The three years of graduate school were some of the most stressful in my life. I worked full-time, went to school full-time and provided for my son full-time with my son’s father dragging me down emotionally. I barely slept and earned the best grades of my life. And who did I do it for? My son. He was my motivator. I needed him to see me graduate and go into a career that I truly enjoyed.

And here I am again, working to provide for him and not satisfied. The great thing is that my son wants me to be happy in the work that I do. I’ve got a great kid there. Must be doing something right. Parents, what kinds of things do you do for your children?

It is a gift that is over 20 years old, but is still with me. I was ten years old that Christmas and I wanted a special gift that year. My parents didn’t have much, but they did give me a great gift each year. I asked my mom for a doll to play with. I had a few Barbie dolls, but nothing like a big doll that I could take care of. I wanted a doll that I could treat like my baby.

Christmas morning, I found my doll. It was UGLY! I asked my mom why I got this ugly doll. It was a Wrinkles dog puppet. Its face was scrunched up like a sharpie. But, I realized she was soft and cuddly.

I named her Emily and put my baby clothes on her. She went with me everywhere except for school and church. She kept me company after I had a nightmare and watched over me while I did my homework.

Today, Emily is still with me and is the only childhood toy I’ve kept. She still wears my pink baby dress over her original outfit. Emily still carries her toy bone in her dress pocket. She sits on my desk in my room keeping watch. What makes her even more special is that since my mom isn’t with me anymore, Emily can remind me of the best Christmas I ever had as a kid.

Eeeek! If you’re a Santa-believer, your day of reckoning has come. It is a day that many parents dread if they’ve introduced their children to Santa. So how can you handle this? Here are some tips:

1. Ask your child what he or she heard. Kids hear many things at many times and the information can be very inaccurate. It is always good to ask your kids what exactly they heard. Once you know what you’re dealing with, you can move on to the next step.
2. Where did he or she hear it? Ask your child where he or she got the information from.  You can then try to speak to this individual about what you’d like your child to believe about Santa. Or you can let your child figure out what to believe.
3. Consider your child’s age. If your child is pre-school or school age, you can try to salvage this by simply asking your child what he or she believes in. Chances are, your child may not be ready to let go of Santa just yet.
4. Tell the truth. If your child fixates on the fact that Santa isn’t real or is old enough to realize it, be honest about it. There is no point in continuing a tradition that your child does not believe in.

This happened to me. My son (age 10) told me last year that he didn’t think Santa was real. He then said that he thought I was Santa because his gifts were never under the tree until Christmas. (I purposely keep his gifts hidden to keep the Santa tradition alive.) I believe that kids should be allowed to be kids and enjoy the holiday. But, my Santa party is over.

I explained to my son all about the tradition of Santa Claus. He learned the story of St. Nicholas (http://www.stnicholascenter.org/pages/who-is-st-nicholas/) who lived during the 4^th Century and gave his belongings away. Then I shared that St. Nicholas was the model for Santa Claus (http://www.stnicholascenter.org/pages/origin-of-santa/) . Kiddo learned more about the saint at school so I didn’t have to explain much. But, he was happy to hear about where Santa came from and to learn about St. Nicholas. Either way you decide what is best for your child. Happy Holidays!

I LOVE music! It is one of my passions and I especially love holiday music. I love traditional Christmas songs (Silent Night, Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer, Santa Claus is Coming to Town) in English and some favorites in Spanish. Silent Night (Noche de Paz – Night of Peace), Pastores a Belen (Shepherds to Bethlehem) and Hacia Belen (Towards Bethlehem) are my top three Spanish holiday carols. When I listen and sing along to these three songs, I’m a kid again in our tiny chapel.

Other songs that have found their way to my heart are parody songs. Parody songs are tunes written to make us laugh. I will be the first one to crack a joke about the holidays and make my family laugh. Someone (bless them!) came up with the idea of writing parodies of favorite holiday songs.

For the last several years, I’ve kept my radio on to Z100 and 95.5 WPLJ to tune into my favorites – Dominic the Italian Christmas Donkey, 12 Things at Christmas that’s Such a Pain to me and of course, Adam Sandler’s Hanukkah song (all three versions). Each year I look forward to singing these to make myself laugh. Sometimes, we can take the holidays so seriously that we fail to enjoy them. What better way to enjoy music during the holidays than to make fun of ourselves and share the laughter?

Other traditions that come during the holidays are special foods and treats. My mother made several, but there are three that are my favorites during this time of year. One is Coquito – a coconut-based drink that is almost like egg nog (without the egg). Each year, my mother would mix a can of Coco Lopez (thick coconut), a fresh coconut (meat/milk), cinnamon, water and at the end, a splash of Puerto Rican rum. Mami usually made two batches – alcoholic for the adults & non-alcoholic for kids.

Another food tradition is called pasteles. A pastele is a mix of ground up vegetables (Green Banana, Yautia and Yuca) with stewed pork in the center. Mami assembled it on wax paper (in Puerto Rico, banana leaves are used) putting the ground up veggies or masa (dough) in the center. She flattened it out creating a pocket in the middle for the stewed pork. Two versions were made – spicy for the adults and regular for the kids. She would then fold up the edges of the wax paper to make a rectangle-shaped container. My job was to tie two pasteles together tightly. It was a holiday tradition just for us to make it because it is made from Thanksgiving through Little Christmas (January 6). We’d sit and talk while we ground up the vegetables and I’d go steal some of the stew to eat it with crackers. So yummy! After the work was done, the pasteles were boiled for an hour and voila! A delicious holiday treat for me to enjoy.

The final one was a dessert called Tembleque (pronounced “tem-bleh-keh”). It is a coconut custard that mom prepared every year along with the coquito and pasteles. My mom used a can of Coco Lopez and heated it with corn starch. She dedicated a lot of time to this because it had to be stirred constantly so that it didn’t burn. Mami then spread the mixture onto a flat plate. She topped it off with a sprinkle of cinnamon and cooled it in the fridge. After a couple of hours, the tembleque was ready to eat. Hers came out hard enough to eat with my hands like cake. My pal made it for me last year and it was very soft after she placed it in dessert cups.

I’ve only tried to make this once myself and it came out burnt. It was brown like caramel and hard as a rock! This was several years ago already, but maybe next year I’ll try making it again. What are your special holiday food traditions?

Growing up with a mom from a Puerto Rico, I learned about unique traditions that really showed the joy and celebration of Christmas. The first one was the parranda. A parranda is equivalent to the carolers at Christmastime here in the US. The big difference is that members of the parranda have guitars and other instruments to sing to their neighbors and friends nearby. I have great memories of going on parrandas with my mother and her church group. They played songs with drums, tambourines and guitars to sing to sick friends who had not been able to go to church. It is one of my favorite memories of the season.

Another tradition from Puerto Rico, is Three Kings Day or Little Christmas. It pays tribute to the visit of the three Magi or Wise Men who paid homage to Jesus and presented him with gifts. The night before Three Kings Day (January 6), children put out a handful of grass along with a bowl of water for the camels that the Magi traveled on. In the same way that children put out cookies and milk for Santa, children in Puerto Rico (and those of Puerto Rican descent) do the same. In the morning, children will find their gifts as a thank you from the Magi for feeding their camels. I remember that my local church collected gifts to give to the neighborhood children for Little Christmas. I think I got my first Monopoly game this way. What are your special holiday celebration traditions?

Well, a new job is coming my way very soon and I realized I needed to tell kiddo about it. One of the challenges of being a single mom with a chatty son is that he likes to share my details with his father. I found out that I got the job on Halloween. I waited a couple of weeks before telling him because I did not want him to tell his father. I also just wanted to enjoy the news myself and then let kiddo know. While kiddo’s schedule won’t be affected at all, my schedule will be very different. I’ll have somewhat of a 9-5 (three days a week) and two late nights, which will hopefully be on the same nights that kiddo’s with his father.

This new job will be a major shift for me since I won’t be working in foster care anymore. I’ll be working hard to change old habits to reflect my new work. Now that he’s older, kiddo’s not much affected by my work. Occasionally, I found myself having to call my father for pick-ups when I couldn’t be there myself. Now this new schedule will have me finished by 5pm most days and I can be there for him better than with the previous job. Another plus, more money so that I can better provide for him. I’m really nervous and excited and scared. I just hope that I can adjust so that kiddo won’t notice much of a difference. I don’t want to shake things up for him too much even though I’ll be the one going through a change. How do you help the kids adjust while you go through a lifestyle change?

Well, my non-traditional Thanksgiving didn’t happen. Turns out that my two pals both decided to stay home. One decided to cook for her siblings and the other was so burnt out by work that she wanted to stay home. I decided then to visit my father and his girlfriend for a bit before going to my cousin’s house. (My cousin happened to text me an invite to her house for turkey day a week before.) After a couple of hours with my father (who I had already seen two days that week for childcare – love my dad), I then traveled to my cousin’s house. My cousin V hosted Thanksgiving with a bunch of our cousins all from my mother’s side of the family. I realized how much I liked my family and how easy it was to crack jokes. I also realized how much I missed my mom that day – especially her cooking. V’s cooking is amazing along with everyone else who cooked that day (I brought wine), but none of it was the same because it wasn’t my mom’s. But, for a few hours I had a great time, laughing, joking and chatting away with my family.

That was until my son reminded me that we were also invited to stop by his godmother’s for Thanksgiving as well. She and I aren’t very close anymore, but kiddo loves her very much so I took the trip for his sake. The last few hours of Thanksgiving found me sitting mostly by myself with a few conversations here and there while kiddo played with the other kids there. I’d have been happier with ending Thanksgiving at V’s house, but kiddo had a great time at his godmother’s so it was worth it. Thank goodness for Thanksgiving.

It’s official. Kiddo has a loose tooth and swollen gums. For those of you who don’t know my son, he’s very curious and loves to see what things are about including his teeth. After several calls to the local dentist, I finally made an appointment with an emergency dental clinic nearby. Due to the holiday, the local dentist office was closed from the Tuesday before Thanksgiving until the Cyber Monday.
I think all of this happened as well because of my own dental trauma. My metal mouth days have come back to haunt me with a vengeance. I was in the seventh grade and it was decided (not by me) that I needed braces. Somewhere in my development, two of my teeth headed way north in my gums and tried to make a line all by themselves. I spent the next three years in braces. Thus the geek trifecta was complete – bad hair, check. Glasses, check. Braces, check, check.
As a result, I’ve been a bad dental patient. I’ve got a horrible track record of going to the dentist and even taking kiddo. He has been checked out by dentists while in school, thank goodness. And he’s pretty good about brushing his teeth. Though now, I will be making yearly trips to the dentist with kiddo to make sure his teeth are okay. I just hope I can sit through the sounds of dental brushes, rinsing water and drills. Yikes!
The emergency visit turned out well. Kiddo only needed an xray to see what was happening and was instructed to keep wiggling the tooth until it fell out. He was also told that he would need braces in the future. Sigh. At least kiddo’s okay for now. Any dental horror stories?