Naptime Blog

I will admit it, I LOVE soda. It is terrible, I know, but I just love it! I tried the “diet” thing but apparently there have been studies to show that diet is worse than regular soda.

The only best possible solution is to completely break up the relationship between yourself and this delicious refreshing drink we know as soda. Cutting it out altogether can be beneficial for people, especially who are trying to lose weight. Maybe I can limit myself to one can a day? Then perhaps I can be a strict water drinker.

Anyone who buys soda knows that it can be rather expensive. Sometimes around $5 for a 12 pack of cans. When it’s later in the evening, Brent or I have run out to Walgreens or the gas station here paying that extra money to have our Pepsi or Coca-Cola fix. However about 2 weeks ago I was in Publix, and I saw they were having a special on their brand of soda. I’ve had their coke version and I like it alot, so this was surely a deal to inspect! The deal was buy two, get one free. Well when one pack is around $3, it’s a good deal to get 3 12-packs for $6.

Publix brand has saved me alot of money, plus it has lasted us quite a while. When I tell you we are bad with soda, I’m being very serious. Not to worry, this is something I will NOT pass onto our son. I hope he doesn’t even know what soda is until his teens haha! I know that’s impossible, but I would rather him not even care for it or know it because he does great with water, milk, and his (water diluted) juices. Thanks Publix, I look forward to more deals you put out there!

-Krystle

I have fallen into the latest infomercial craze, juicing. I have been on all the latest blogs and shopped around for the best juicer for our family. We have a difficult time getting in our 5 servings of fruits and vegetables a day. This has proven to be the easiest and fastest way for us to do that.

I compared several products at www.qvc.com & www.hsn.com and I feel the brand by Jack Lalanne gives you the best bang for you $buck$ and the warranty that it comes with is awesome. If your family has a hard time getting in their proper amount of fruits and veggies you should consider juicing; it’s fast, easy and tasty.

Follow the link for more information and see for yourself. Also, see one of my favorite juice recipes.  (https://www.powerjuicersale.com/?mid=562806)

Apple Pineapple Ginger Juice Recipe
1 apple, cored and sliced
1 cup fresh pineapple, cubed, skin removed
1/2 inch fresh ginger

Juice the apple and ginger together, then juice the pineapple and serve.

(Yummy)

~Shanta

I recently had the pleasure of working with Heather Simonson, LMSW.  Heather is a Licensed Social Worker, Certified Sexuality Educator and Parent/Child Communication Specialist.  Heather runs a Sexuality Education and Counseling Services center here in New York (West Babylon, Long Island).  She and I discussed how important it is to deal with approaching sex and sexuality with your children at all stages of development, because, as you may already know as a parent, children are a) always growing and changing b) like sponges and c) very exploratory and inquisitive little beings!  We did a Q and A with various questions from all stages of development.  No matter where you are in the parenting process, you are likely to appreciate the great insight that Heather has to share with us.  See below for info on how to contact Heather and more info about her center!

Q -Every time I change my toddler’s diaper, he is reaching, grabbing and prodding his genitals.  I don’t know how to approach this with him.  Help!

A- First, I want to applaud you for asking the question. Most people slap their child’s hand away without giving it a second thought. It is completely normal and healthy for toddler’s to touch their genitals, but most parents don’t know how to address it and don’t have a place to go to ask.

We start sending our children messages about their bodies and their sexuality from the moment we hold them in our arms. So I would first encourage you to think about what kind of messages you want to send to your children and infuse them with your own values. Being positive about the body and about sexuality is a great way to start encouraging a healthy self-image and will also plant the seed for you to be their “go to” person when they have questions or need guidance about these matters as they grow up.

To do just that with a common situation like this one, a great response is, “I know that touching your vulva/penis must feel good. Since it is your private parts, it needs to be done only in private, like your bedroom or the bathroom.” This way you validate the behavior, you aren’t sending any negative messages about the behavior and you are reinforcing the integral value that sex and our body is something that is private.

Privacy is something that should be taught early on. You can also use this opportunity as a teachable moment to talk about if someone else ever touches their genitals that they should say no and tell someone they trust immediately. Also, that while they may be curious about others’ bodies, everyone’s body is for themselves and they should never touch anyone else’s privates.

The foundation of a sexually healthy person starts now, so talk early and talk often.

Q- My preschooler walked into the room while I was changing.  He/she saw me naked and is now questioning about my body parts.  How should I answer him/her?

A- Openly and honestly. It is healthy for children to see their parents be open about their bodies because it sends a positive message that you are proud of your body. However, everyone’s values and comfort level vary, so some people choose to cover up and some walk around in the buff. Either way, the important thing is to be open to these kinds of questions, be careful not to associate any wrongdoing by them asking, and answer the questions truthfully and with the proper names for your body parts.

Setting the stage now, when your children are young, for them to feel comfortable to ask you anything is vital to keeping an openly communicative relationship as they grow. Open parent – child communication is the best protective factor to keep them healthy and safe. Being mindful of your reactions when your child asks you questions that may be uncomfortable to answer is crucial. If the reaction is full of shock or shame, you may be sending a message to them that it’s not ok to ask such questions and they will be less likely to come to you next time.

A great way to give you some time to regroup is by saying, “That’s a great question, I need to think about the best way to answer that,” or “That’s a great question, now’s not the best time, but after dinner we’ll sit down to talk.” The key here is that the follow up should be within a day. Responses like these validate that the child asked a good question, but also gives you the time you need to answer thoughtfully.

By age 3 children should know the correct names for their body parts. Giving our private parts cute names for them only sends a message of shame and in the long wrong can make them vulnerable. Using proper names for all of our body parts can keep them safe so that they are able to communicate appropriately. For example, if someone is hurt, sick or was inappropriately touched, they may not be able to communicate that effectively if they don’t have the correct names.

Curiosity about the body during toddlerhood is completely normal and is best answered honestly. It is also a good teachable moment for you to explain how bodies develop from a child to a man/woman. However, keeping the answers short and sweet works as well just as long as it’s the truth.

Q – My eight year old daughter came home from school today and told me she knows that adults have sex.  I asked her where she heard this and she answered that her friend told her.  I am worried she is now misinformed.  Should I have a chat now?  And what is age-appropriate for the “sex talk”?

A -First and foremost, it is so wonderful that your daughter came to you to ask the question. Parents are the primary sexuality educators of their children, yet many kids at this age won’t go to their parents, so you are already one step ahead. Congratulations!

It is wonderful that you asked her where she heard this from so that you know where else she is getting her information. One thing to be mindful of is to think about the music behind the words, not just the words. When you ask your child why they are asking that question try to make the distinction between “Where did you hear THAT?” vs. “That’s a great question, we’ve never talked about that before – what makes you ask that?” We want to keep the lines of communication open so asking questions is great, but be conscious of the tone, which it sounds like you are.

While you’re right in being concerned that she may not be getting correct information from her peers, in this particular case, she is getting the truth because many adults do have sex. To determine what her level of knowledge is and how she may be misinformed, a great follow up to your question of where she heard this from is to ask her what she thinks her friend means by it or what she believes sex is. That way you actually do get to dispel any misinformation that she does have and you can meet her at her level when answering the question openly and honestly.

Sexuality is a life-long process and so discussions around the topic are best when they begin early and are part of everyday life. Having milestone “sex talks” at puberty, going to college, or the night before a wedding makes sex something mysterious and “the talk” something many feel anxious about.
As far as the common question of when is the right time to talk about sex with youth, the answer is by puberty age, which can be as early as 8- or 9-years-old. By this stage of sexual development, children should know everything about puberty and why it’s happening, which includes reproduction and what sex is.
Q-My child walked in on us!  Should I discuss with her what she saw or let it go?
A-It’s always best to discuss anything a child sees or hears right away, whether it is something they watched on television, a song on the radio or seeing their parents having sex. I know it’s very embarrassing, but it’s a great “teachable moment,” using a real life situation to educate, and an opening to talk about what sex is.

Ideally, a wonderful way to address this is to frame sex as something that is beautiful, sacred and shared between two adults who love each other. This sends a positive message about love, relationships and sex all in one.  Believe it or not, sending positive messages about sex is what ultimately will keep your kids safe, as opposed to being silent or scaring them into not doing it. Staying silent and letting it go, can leave a lot of room for interpretation and the curiosity may encourage your child to find out the information somewhere else. Since there is a lot of misinformation and conflicting messages out there, it is best that the information comes from you, especially since it can be infused with your own values.

Using “teachable moments” is an opportunity to express your values around sex. While there are certainly answers to questions about what children should know and when they should know it, no one can teach your children your values and that needs to come from home.

Q -I am afraid my young teen might be sexually active.  What is a good way to approach the topic?

A-How lucky your teen is to have a parent that wants to broach the topic of sex with them. The great news is there are many different approaches you can take.
One way is to use or create your own “teachable moment,” which is using a real life situation that arises to educate about a certain topic. These happen every day on television, in the news, with family etc. The greatest thing about them is that if you want to intentionally bring something up, you can create your own. You can rent a movie that is about teenage sex, find an article or book to leave around, or bring up a story that you may have heard about someone else.

Depersonalizing also really helps. Saying something like, “I heard today that nearly half (46%) of all 15–19-year-olds in the United States have had sex at least once.” You can then ask what they think about that or if their friends are having sex. This can open the door to having a great discussion around sex, your values and how to be safe. It is a great time to let them know what your values are about them having sex, and to relay that if and when they do, you want them to be able to come to you to ask you anything. By the way, according to the Alan Guttmacher Institute this statistic is true, but the bright side of it is over 50% of teens are not having sex (something important to point out to your teen, since most youth feel like everyone is doing it).

After communicating your values to your child, it is vital to give them information about how to be safe, not just physically, but emotionally as well. Talking about the emotional aspects of relationships and sex is a vital part of these discussions that many people forgo because there is so much focus on the “sex talk.” Many parents are really hesitant about this discussion since they are concerned that giving information about sexual protection may also be perceived as giving permission. It is not. By approaching it this way, you are telling them what your values are, and then telling them that when they do choose to have sex (and eventually, even if in adulthood, they probably will) they will be prepared and will know how to protect themselves.  After all, keeping our kids happy, healthy and safe is our number one priority as parents.

Q -My mom never discussed sex and sexuality with me.  She always made it seem “dirty” and “wrong”.  I never developed a healthy view of sex and sexuality.  What can I do to help myself and my marriage/relationship?

A-This is something that is so typical among adults today. Your generation was brought up in a world that didn’t talk about sex, and if it was discussed the message was almost always “no.” Silence and scare tactics will ultimately send messages that make sex seem “dirty” and “wrong,” in turn making people feel shameful, guilty and embarrassed about their body and about sexuality.

The fact that you recognize this as something that you want to change is the biggest step. Start by embracing the idea that sexuality is something that is a normal, natural and a beautifully integral part of who we are. It is something that is meant to be empowering and celebrated. Once people own their sexuality they begin to exhibit a whole new spirit and energy about themselves. This in turn affects every area of your life, your relationships, your success, your happiness and of course, your sex.

There are many things you can do develop a healthy viewpoint.
Begin by talking. Talk with your partner openly about how you feel about your body, sex, what you like, don’t like, as well as your desires. If you aren’t sure about those things yourself, I encourage you to do some self-exploration whether through journaling, meditating or even self-pleasure. Ultimately, openly communicating about these issues will start to break down barriers and begin to open the door to a more intimate, trusting relationship.

Talk with friends too. You’ll find that many people probably share your experience and how you feel. On the flip side, those who feel differently and have a positive viewpoint can serve as an inspiration and motivate you to creating a shift.  Beginning to have open dialogue about not only will make you and your friends realize that you’re not alone, but it will also start to make talking about sex more comfortable and natural.

If your mom is still around, talk with her. See what her values are around it, how she was raised, tell her how it affected you. If your mother is no longer with you, write her a letter with the same intention. You’d be surprised what kind of answers you may get. If you have other family, siblings of your mom’s or siblings of your own, talk with them about it as well.

Learn to live blissfully. Tantra is the art of living consciously on all levels, including sexually, and is derived from the ancient Sanskrit language meaning “expansion through awareness.”  The ancient practice of Tantra shows us how to open our hearts, our emotions and our sexuality.  Incorporating these practices of sacred sexuality, breathing, eye gazing, and moving energy empowers you to get the intimacy and sex life you crave. You can practice it on your own, or with your partner.

You can also go and speak with a sex coach or sex therapist with or without your partner. It is with the intention for them to serve as a guide for you and to help you work through the negativity and transition into a world of positive sexuality. Working with someone who is an expert in the field of sexuality can really help to create the shift you are looking for.

For more information on Heather and her organization, please visit www.secstalk.org

Jennifer
Wife to Paul, Mom to Juliana (7), Anthony and Louis (1) and Joseph (4 months)www.nevaland.com

Jayce is really developing his own little personality. You can usually tell what he likes and what he Doesn’t like pretty quickly. I true staple has been the Mott’s® Apple sauce.

Their new Healthy Harvest line offers a wide variety of flavors and textures. His favorites are the chunky and the pear flavored apple sauce. I love the nutrition benefits and the savings. They are packaged great, 6 for around $2.50. I love that!!!

You can do so many other things with apple sauce too. Try adding it to your cake or muffin mix, hmmmm moist. I also use it as a dip with graham crackers, yummy.

I include a link for the Mott’s ® website, that will lead you to information on all their products and COUPONS. We love coupons,,,,,

http://motts.com/

~Shanta

I am so over the snow and cold weather. The saying goes “March roars in like a Lion!” Well, I am so ready for his roar. Everyone in my family has had little colds on and off. We have tried almost every over the counter medicine out there for cough & cold symptoms. I am pleased to share; that good old fashion Chicken Noodle Soup (Campbell”s ® of course) and hot tea still does the trick!

It’s really funny, because even Jayce our 14 month old (wow)  loves the noodle soup. I have been in search of a really good home-made soup recipe that would compare, but I still think that is one of my favorite comfort meals, with a grill cheese on the side.

For me warm weather brings thoughts of cool, crisp salads and smoothies out of this world! Our family is juicing a little bit now, so we are still experimenting with the best fruit & veggie combination. When we figure it out, I will share,,

I’m looking forward to the bright, warm sun shining on me as well. What do you love about spring?

~Shanta

Most days we find ourselves working round the clock.  As mothers (and often fathers!), we are up at the crack of dawn getting ready for the day.  We prepare meals, take out everyone’s clothes, and get everybody ready for their day.  Chores are endless and there are only 24 hours in a day.  Working mothers have two jobs, and any parent knows that being a mother is a full time job in itself, with constant overtime and no vacation days, sick days, or personal time.  But it never ends there.

When do we find the time to do everything else?  How can we squeeze in appointments, birthdays, play dates, cleaning out the closets, catching up with the latest best seller, or the hundred other things on our “to-do” list? Furthermore, how do we find the time (or energy) to focus on romance and keeping that relationship strong?  And what about “Mommy time”?  Does it even exist?

I am married with four children.  I work full-time from home and then have other jobs I do during the course of the month.  Approaching the end of every month, the crunch begins.  I have end of the month deadlines that I often find haunting me in the final days of every month because I never found the time throughout the month to complete them.  But after the crunch is over and it is the beginning of the next month, I wonder if it is lack of time or lack of motivation that led me to be behind yet again another month?

I have spoken to many mothers who say that they have no motivation to do anything that is not first priority, or I should say, what they consider to be priority at the moment.  Helena works full-time out of the home.  A single mother, she also does freelance writing to help with the bills.  She has attempted countless ways to try to help her get motivated to complete her writing each month, which often falls to the wayside.  Helena has asked me to help her get motivated to write her articles.

Renee also works full-time out of the home.  Mom of two, she lives with her fiancé and has a hectic schedule with two very active boys.  Renee loves to read, but finds it almost impossible to devote any significant time to the Best Seller List.  She finds herself sitting in the car while waiting for baseball practice to end, tempted to open that book, but then the phone rings or another mother comes up to the car to chat.  So she crawls into bed and manages to open a book (“I’ll just read a few chapters…” turns into an all-nighter) she spends the next day dragging and drained from a lack of sleep.  There is no ‘happy medium’.

That online master’s degree program that Jenna signed up for last year looked like the perfect solution to allowing her to complete that degree she has always dreamed of.  The benefits of an online program that we have today, while seeming to fit perfectly in Jenna’s life, are being met by the demands of her two toddlers and husband.  Jenna really wants to get this degree in motion, but is not motivated enough to get the ball rolling due to being so busy with the kids.

We ALL have good intentions, and the motivating factors behind these things (and others) should be enough to keep us going, but we are often too consumed in the demands of the day that we cannot get to complete what we set out to complete.  How can we get motivated and stay motivated?

Here are some things we can try, hoping it helps!

The Buddy System – Exercising, dieting, even spring cleaning, can often be easier to do and stick with when done with a friend.  I was most successful in my weight loss goals when my aunt (who was living in the apartment upstairs from me at the time) and I dieted together.  We would share recipes, celebrate our successes together, head out grocery shopping (for healthy foods and finds, of course) together, and help each other through our pitfalls together.

Group – Join a book club, and the other ladies in the club will help get you motivated to catch up on your reading.  There is more accountability and strength in numbers, and it will be more fun if you can be involved in the discussions and can discuss the books from your own viewpoints if you read the books!

Enlisting the help of your spouse/significant other – Whether your partner is your accountability buddy or if he/she helps out in some of your other chores so that you can complete the tasks you are seeking motivation for, having your spouse/significant other on board with you in your goals always makes things that much easier.  As a matter of fact, the whole family should be on board to help out where they can, and having stress lessened in one area can help you manage in other areas.

Reminders / Calendars / To-Do Lists – In the age of technology, I have finally become better at keeping track of things, due to the reminders I set up on my laptop and my blackberry.  As I learn of deadlines I need to make, I put them into the calendar feature.  I give myself a few days notice to remind me, and the notification is clear enough to remind me.  So when I have an article due on Tuesday, I set the reminder alarm to go off on Sunday, giving me two more days to complete it.  Unfortunately there is always the option to click the “snooze” button (same problem I always had with alarm clocks each morning since I was younger!), so I cannot be guaranteed to get it done immediately, but at least the reminder is fresh in my mind at all times.

As mothers, we must remember that we are human first, not machines.  We are often our biggest critics, and if you can continuously remind yourself that you are doing a great job, it might be motivation enough  to keep you going!  Good luck!

Jennifer
Wife to Paul, Mom to Juliana (7), Anthony and Louis (1) and Joseph (4 months)www.nevaland.com

All day today, my son has had a pink/red left eye. It looks like he could have scratched it or irritated it by messing with something in his eye but I don’t know! My husband said he woke up like that and has been rubbing it quite often throughout the day. Great. I sure hope its not pink eye. There’s nothing “crusty” about his eye which I know is usually a good sign of it, well at least not yet. I do believe there was a time where I had to give him eye drops for something like that many months ago, I can’t remember. I still have not fully regained my memory from pregnancy and that’s a fact! I used to remember everything, literally. In the beginning of my pregnancy it started to fade and I had noticed it. Towards the end, I was forgetting what I had eaten for lunch that day and it seems that it has only gotten worse, is that possible?! I can’t remember what people tell me, can’t remember when I last did something, can’t remember something I was supposed to do that night… all of it! Is there any natural over the counter product that I can use to increase my memory skills? I’ve tried those DS games, Brain Age, or whatever it is called and I failed hard at that. I read about Ginseng and those positive results but I can’t differentiate half the time between what REALLY works and what is a gimmick. I only want information from people who have seriously tried it and saw great results. Now what was I talking about in this blog before, I forgot….Oh that’s right, hope it’s not pink eye!

Krystle

I can’t believe that he is ONE already. Time sure flies when you’re having fun! I have been dreading his 1 yr. well check. I knew they were going to fill him up with more shots. For the most part the well check visit went well. His weight is in the 50% percentile, head circumference and height all are within the 50th percentile.

When it came time to discuss the vaccines, I must admit I became a little defensive. As a public school teacher I see a wide range of illness and disabilities. I guess you can say, I have become a bit paranoid! I am fine with him being vaccinated; I just disagree with so many different shots at one time. The doctor attempted to go back and forward with me about my decision to stretch them out.

He saw he wasn’t going to win the fight, so he dropped it. Jayce left with 2 vaccines that day and I will pop in a few weeks from now to get the remainder.

~Shanta

My hubby and I decided to gather the gift cards we received for Christmas and put them towards some thing that could benefit the both of us this year and decided to get a Wii along with the Wii Fit Plus. After hearing the positive reviews from some friends and my family, we were determined. We walk into Best Buy where they have an entire Wii mountain made out of the consoles, and quickly put it in our cart…not that we had to rush or anything, they weren’t going to sell out! Shaughn spots the blue and yellow balloons tied to the end of each aisle and decided that he absolutely needs one and starts pointing, babbling, and raising his arms. As we walk towards the Wii accessories and games, away from all these balloons, Shaughn starts crying and yelling, all understandable at first, but then it gets louder. I’m trying to talk to him and show him all the other neat things we’re standing next to, which is completely at the other end of the store, and he is still pointing up crying. He did calm down and stop a few minutes later but I was so confused on what to do besides telling him “no” firmly and shortly explain, even though he does not understand, that he could not have the balloons because they belonged at the store. It worked, so that was good. I didn’t want to be the couple in the store who has that crying tantrum throwing child! Anyhow, the Wii Fit Plus is GREAT. We’ve done it yesterday and today and can literally feel our muscles aching. It is such a sensitive balance board and can feel your EVERY move, and I do mean every. It corrects your posture, works on balancing, and keeps you moving! Maybe this will finally be the one tool in our lives that can actually help us lose weight but allow us to have fun at the same time. I got nothing but high hopes. Do you have a Wii Fit or any other product to help keep you motivated while losing weight?

-Krystle

Most of my blogs are light and hopefully interesting and possibly even humorous.  Today happens to be an anniversary of an event I will never forget.  This blog is a reflection of my more serious side.

Nine Christmases ago I was pregnant for the very first time.  I learned right before Christmas day.  I was 25 years old, newly married, and ‘innocent’.  I had always wanted to become a mother, and learning I was pregnant was something I had always dreamed of.  The day after Christmas in the year 2000, I learned there was a possible problem with the pregnancy.  I spent the week between Christmas and New Year’s Day being thrown into a whirlwind of emotions, not knowing whether or not I was going to have a baby in nine months.  This was the first time in my life I realized that being blessed with a pregnancy did not always mean that a baby would be born, and many complications could prevent that from happening.  My “innocence” was forever lost on the evening of January 3rd, 2001, when I learned that I had an ectopic pregnancy, and that I would need emergency surgery to ensure my fallopian tube wouldn’t burst, endangering my life.

I had surgery on January 4, 2001.  I lost my baby and lost my left fallopian tube.  My life was forever changed on that day.

I went on to lose another baby later that year.  Since then, I welcomed my daughter into my world in 2002, I divorced her father in 2005, remarried the love of my life in 2007, gave birth to twin sons in 2008 (after dealing with secondary infertility), and was surprised with my little love, born late 2009.  I am forever blessed with these four amazing children and awesome husband.  I watch them all sleep; I love the sound of my children’s laughs.  I never imagined that I would have four children, and after spending many years in an unhappy relationship with my first husband, I cannot help but thank God for the life I have with my husband and children.  But there has never been a January 4th that has gone by without me remembering the first baby that I never got the opportunity to hold, to kiss, to watch sleep or listen to his/her laughter.  I have never forgotten the course of events leading to that awful trip to the operating room, the day that changed my life and my views on many things. 

Nine years sometimes feels like an eternity, sometimes feels like the blink of an eye.  We celebrate birthdays, wedding anniversaries, and other happy occasions.  We also remember other anniversaries, which may not always be of an event we choose to remember.  But I am a mother of 6, not 4, and I will always remember the day I lost my first baby.

Jennifer
Wife to Paul, Mom to Juliana (7), Anthony and Louis (1) and Joseph (3 months)
www.nevaland.com