Naptime Blog

I am such a proud Mama today (well, I always am, but today is an extra special day!)  My daughter has been working on her Science Fair project for the last few months, and she she came home today with the news that she won second place!

Juliana has been having a big interest in plants.  I am not quite sure where she gets it from as I do not have nor have I ever had a green thumb.  But when we were looking through the project ideas in the fall, she kept going back to projects with plants.  She decided on experimenting on how milk affects the plant’s growth in place of water.  After a few days of thinking about it, she decided she also wanted to try to experiment on how salt water would affect the plant’s growth.  Honestly, I was not sure how the outcome would be.  I was thinking that both of these variables would quickly kill the plants, but Juliana had some pretty good arguments.  She thought that the calcium and vitamins in the milk would help the plants.  And while she did not necessarily think that the salt water would make the plants grow, she had a great theory.  One day, while driving home from school, she turned to me and said “You know, Mommy…  some plants live by the ocean and there is salt in the air and they get wet from the salt water in the ocean.  So maybe the saltwater might work!”  I was very intrigued myself!

In the end, the plant with the milk thrived.  It grew bigger and fuller than even the water plants.  And within a few short days, the plants with the salt water died.  The funny thing is, the plants with the milk, while beautiful, stunk beyond belief from the milk.  And the plants with the salt water developed salt crystals on top of it.

Juliana’s project really came out amazing.  She was proud of herself too!  We’ve already started talking about next year!

Recently I made a switch in my work, leaving the foster care job I really enjoyed going elsewhere to make more money and have better work hours. And I was very unhappy with that decision. The work while doable was simply too demanding and draining. Besides that, the environment was very negative.

I left a job that I had been mostly happy with because I needed to take care of my son financially (my salary had been frozen for a couple of years & it took a toll on me). My previous job wasn’t perfect, but I really benefitted from it – earning my degree, my licensure, getting great support from my co-workers and feeling very fulfilled by the work.

In leaving that job for the other one, it took me back to my first “real” job. I began as a temp and impressed the managers so much that I was offered a permanent, union job. Then I found out I was pregnant. So I stayed there for seven long years. The first five were the worst because my talents were being wasted, my mother passed away and there were serious problems in my relationship with my son’s father. Through it all, my son was my motivation. He became that beautiful face that I studied day in and day out when I felt like I’d be stuck there forever.

After three years, I was able to go back to school to finish my undergraduate degree and get tuition reimbursement. I had to keep a promise I made to my mother to finish and one to myself that I’d be a role model for my child. I graduated and continued on to get a Master’s degree in Mental Health Counseling.

The three years of graduate school were some of the most stressful in my life. I worked full-time, went to school full-time and provided for my son full-time with my son’s father dragging me down emotionally. I barely slept and earned the best grades of my life. And who did I do it for? My son. He was my motivator. I needed him to see me graduate and go into a career that I truly enjoyed.

And here I am again, working to provide for him and not satisfied. The great thing is that my son wants me to be happy in the work that I do. I’ve got a great kid there. Must be doing something right. Parents, what kinds of things do you do for your children?

On Tuesday morning, my husband goes on his business trip to Las Vegas.  He has gone every year for five years, and every year, it is harder and harder for me to get used to.  I have great help set up for the week, and I know I will be able to manage (albeit a challenge with four kids!), but I still hate this time of year.  My husband and I are partners in life, and when he is across the country for almost a week, I feel like I am missing one of my limbs.  We co-parent, we share all responsibilities in the home, we enjoy each other’s company.  Although I know I will have my parents, my in-laws, my aunts and cousins around for the week, there is something about my relationship with my husband that cannot be replaced with anyone else.

Although this is a tough week for me, it brings me back to another year that Paul went on a business trip.  This week 3 years ago, I got pregnant with our youngest child.  We were not trying, as a matter of fact, our twins were only 6 months old at the time.  And while I was in shock for three weeks after finding out I was expecting again, Joseph has been the best surprise of our lives. 

I know that the week will fly by and Paul will be back.  I know that (although the week may be rough!) I will survive the week and things will be back to normal in the blink of an eye, as Paul returns home.  I just hate being away from him for a week!

Don’t get me wrong.  I love my life.  I have the most amazing husband and my kids are a pure joy.  I am truly blessed.  But I am in a funk and have been in one all week long.  I am not sure if it is because it is the dead of winter and it is too cold to go outside for very long, or if it is because I am overwhelmed with keeping up with the chores and the kids and all the “extras” that I have to deal with daily…  or maybe it is just because I am in an inexplainable funk!

I have done, no exaggeration, about 18 loads of laundry so far this week, and at this very moment, I have two full laundry baskets of dirty clothes to wash, dry, fold and put away.   I have to bread chicken cutlets and get my kids to sort their 4 puzzles that are all over the living room floor.  The baby is starting to get into everything, so he joins the ranks of his older siblings to add to my worries.  And to top it off, my husband is leaving on Tuesday for a 6 day business trip on the other side of the country, so I will be on my own for a bit. 

I know I will get out of this funk, I just have to take better care of myself.  Too much coffee and not enough healthy meals.  And of course increasing my exercise is a given as well.  We always take care of everyone else, and it is time to put Mommy first. 

Is anyone else in a funk this week:?

…just happens to be the three things I never really liked!  Can you believe I spend more time with my mop, broom and vaccuum than I do with my husband?  Don’t believe me?  Well, if I detailed my weekly schedule with you, you will see that I do about 18 loads of laundry a week and sweep my kitchen, dining room and living room at least 4 times a day (each room!)

I remember when I was a little girl, when my mom would use the expression “Well, the fairies aren’t going to come in the middle of the night and clean it!” with regards to how we needed to pick up after ourselves.  I have tried this with my kids, and so far, it has not worked.  I do not know how they always manage to bring a snack into the living room or find any little paper to tear up on the rug.  And no matter what they eat for breakfast, lunch or dinner, under my dining room table is screaming “SWEEP ME!”  I have been doing a ton of laundry every week since we had the last three babies.  Now that it is winter time (more layers of clothing) and the boys are potty training at night (changing sheets every morning), I am doing more laundry than ever before.

The price of  laundry detergent and dryer sheets is ridiculous.  The store brand dryer sheets smell AWESOME and are a third of the price.  Thank goodness for that!  I also recently replaced my Swiffer Wetjet with a store brand device — do you believe this thing uses your own floor cleaner, the pads are washable (yes, this increases my laundry load BUT saves me a ton on disposable pads!) AND you don’t need batteries (it is a spray!)  I LOVE this thing!  Totally beats a mop and can run circles around the Wetjet.

With four kids, I just wish I could spend one day home and not have to clean up after someone all day long.  Until that happens, I guess I might as well call my cleaning supplies my friends.

Three years ago, when our twins were only a few months old, Paul and I started house hunting.  There was one house in Seaford, Long Island, that caught both of our eyes.  This house was perfect for our family of five.  It was empty, and it would require updating three bathrooms and the kitchen, but we still loved the house.   At the time, the prices of houses were still astronomical, and shortly thereafter, I found out I was pregnant again.  The house hunting stopped, as I was not ready to move away from my family, needing the help of my mother and family with four little kids, three of them babies.

We planned on resuming our hunt next year (the beginning of 2013).  In the meantime, I still get daily multiple listing reports, and we found out that the Seaford house was still for sale, at a DRAMATIC decrease in price.  Going into the New Year last weekend, we were certain that this was kismet.  After all, this house has been coming up for three years.  We had seen the decrease a year ago, and now another decrease.  This house was now SUPER affordable and still available.  We made an appointment with the listing agent for the 2nd of January and neither of us could sleep the night before.  We could TASTE being Seaford homeowners!

The house was everything we remembered, and it still was what we were looking for.  But renovating three bathrooms and a kitchen would add tens of thousands of dollars to the price of the home.  When the agent first said to us that she’d send us listings that were similar and in the same price range, I told her that if this house didn’t work out for us, we’d hold off on the hunt til our original plan of next year.   But when we got the listings later that afternoon and saw that the similar houses at the similar price (minus all the work!), we were completely intrigued. 

Almost a week later, we have five appointments set up tomorrow to look at houses.  Paul began the process of pre-approving us for a mortgage, and I should be thrilled.  After the health and happiness of our family, all I want is our own home.  So what am I afraid of?

My husband and I stayed up really late on Christmas night to make sure we sorted all the old toys and arranged all the new toys so that our living room actually looked like a living room instead of a disaster.  We were so proud of ourselves that not only could we actually see our floors, we had even LESS of a mess than BEFORE all the new toys!  Here we are, not even two weeks later, and my nerves were shot with all of the missing pieces from the new toys!  Yes, there are certain things that completely irk me and actually make me anxious…  when my kids mix the colors of the PlayDoh and when puzzles, games and other toys are missing a piece or two (or 10!)  I recognize that I have a problem, but of course there could be much worse problems to have, right?

I spent the majority of the day today doing laundry and tearing apart my living room (AGAIN!), sorting the toys, finding the missing pieces, sweeping (and sweeping and sweeping and sweeping… these kids always seem to find a snack and then find there way into the living room when I am on the floor or in a corner and can’t see them!) and rearranging.  I am happy to report that all of the puzzles (except one… but I am on a mission to find that one piece) have all of their pieces and all of the games (except one… GRRR) are in their respective boxes with all the pieces intact. 

I can be pretty certain that by the end of the week things will be a mess again.  I try and try to keep things in order, I put things with small pieces in the closet, I have cases and containers for all blocks and such, but no matter what I do and how I teach my kids to clean up after themselves, they always manage to make a mess.  My kids are wiseguys, too!  I keep saying “Only one toy at a time.  When you are done with a toy, put that away and you can take out a new toy”  And of course I am always met with some comment like “But Mom!  I am playing with these blocks and JoeJoe is playing with those cars!” or something like that.  I have tried again and again to get them all to play with one toy at a time (all three boys) but so far, no luck.  So with three toddlers each playing their own toy, we are bound to mix up some pieces! 

Ugh.  I guess I just have to deal with this until they are teenagers!  LOL!