Naptime Blog

Not too long ago we bought a new mattress from Sleepy’s.  Set us back about $1000, and I still can’t believe how expensive mattresses are!  But my husband has complained every day ever since that he hates the mattress, he isn’t sleeping well, he’s not comfortable.  Quite honestly, I’ve had a stiff neck for months!

Therapedic sent me two pillows to review about two weeks ago:  the Therapedic Quilted Stomach/Back Sleeper Pillow and the Therapedic Quilted Side Sleeper Pillow.  I figured we had nothing to lose, so I gave my husband the side sleeper pillow and I kept the stomach/back pillow. 

I asked my husband this morning how he’s been sleeping and he actually told me he likes the pillow!  He said that he is sleeping like a baby now.  I am in SHOCK!  And to be quite honest with you, I have been sleeping better myself!  I am waking up without neck pain in the morning. 

Amazingly enough, I think we may have just saved well over $1000 on a new mattress, which makes me even happier!  And although I received them from the company for free to review, had I went to Bed Bath and Beyond (where they are sold) and bought them myself, it would have only cost me a total of $50…  a far cry from a new $1000 mattress!

Thank you Therapedic, we are one happy sleeping couple!

Jennifer Nevadomski
Paul’s Wife
Mom to: Juliana, 8 – Louis and Anthony, 22 months – Joseph, 8 months
www.nevaland.com

DECISIONS, Decisions, decisions,

Our sweet little baby Jayce is growing right on up! He is currently going to a home daycare. While I know the family LOVES him to death, I wonder if it is time for him to be around his peers. He is 16 months and I don’t want him to miss out on that social component that he will get from being around his peers.

This is such a tough decision for me. I know he is well taking care of and watched closely now, but I am afraid when he is in a room full of small toddlers he will get lost in the crowd.

I am praying that the pros out weight the cons. He is grow in right on up…

~Shanta

1. He will have a diaper disaster.
2. He will get really thirsty and need a big drink of Mommy’s iced tea. Most of it will end up on his brand new, ready-for-a-photo-session shirt.
3. It will rain and the dog will need to go outside to use the restroom. The dog will then come and wipe her paws on the aforementioned boy’s second clean shirt of the day.
4. He will use his freshly washed hair for a napkin at dinnertime.
5. He will decide that it’s fun to shower in sand from his sandbox.
6. Oooh looky! The dog is rolling in something in the yard. That looks fun… Yeah, you know where this one is going.
7. He decides to give himself another bath in the dog’s water bowl.
8. Uh oh, up comes lunch. Where is clean shirt number three and who is going to draw another bath?
9. “Don’t shake that ketchup bottle!” – Too late! Sigh.
10. What’s that all over that child? Oh, never mind! Forget another bath… where’s the water hose?

Shannon
Potamus Prefers
http://www.potamusprefers.com/

The Unavailable FATHER:  Seven Ways Women Can Understand, Heal and Cope with a Broken Father-Daughter Relationship is written by Sarah Simms Rosenthal, PhD.  The relationship between a father and his young daughter sets the stage for many different aspects of the daughter’s adult life.  Little girls are affected on so many levels from the bond (or lack thereof) and quality of the bond, such as the relationships she gets involved with, her own self-esteem, her own self-worth, her identity and much more.

I had the pleasure of interviewing Dr. Rosenthal by telephone recently.  When I first learned about her book and her work, I was immediately intrigued on a personal as well as professional level.  While my relationship with my father was always and still is a very healthy and positive one, my eight-year-old daughter is dealing with her own father’s unavailability, and this affects her and I greatly.  I am extremely interested in how I can help this relationship, and more importantly, should I be unable to help the relationship, how can I help my child so that she can cope and grown into a mentally healthy woman, despite this often shaky relationship.  Additionally, as a Mental Health Counselor, I have spoken with many women who have been dealing with working through the ramifications of dealing with an unavailable father, and if I can utilize the information from Dr. Rosenthal in my own clients to help others, that would be such an added bonus.

I read the book in a few short hours.  I was deeply interested in the different stories that Dr. Rosenthal shared for each of the different types of unavailable fathers that were mentioned in the book:  The Disapproving Father, The Mentally Ill Father, The Substance-Abusing Father, The Unreliable Father, and The Absent Father.  I was able to relate personally to The Unreliable Father and The Absent Father due to the relationship with my daughter and her father.  I was also able to recall many conversations and online postings I have read from other women about their own relationships with their fathers and it was quite obvious that the research and work that Dr. Rosenthal has put into “The Unavailable Father” could benefit SO MANY of us.

The biggest and most important message that I walked away with and will stress to all of my readers and friends after speaking to Dr. Rosenthal is that ALL MEN DON’T JUST DISAPPEAR, and ALL MEN ARE NOT UNAVAILABLE.  For me, this is something I value and hold to with regards to my daughter.  Although she is seeing her father let her down on so many levels, she does see that not all men are going to let her down.  When we first divorced, my daughter and I moved in with my parents, and she had my father and (even though he wasn’t living with us, he was close by) my brother.  They showed her love and taught her skills that she needed to learn from a father-figure at the three-year old age that she was.  When I got remarried to Paul a year and a half later, my daughter had and still has that healthy father-daughter type relationship that she is often lacking from her own father.  When her father calls to cancel a weekend last minute, she has Paul’s arms in addition to mine to cry in.  When she has a father-daughter event or question that might be better off answered by a man, she has Paul to turn to. 

Dr. Rosenthal reinforced my feelings when she explained how a positive and healthy relationship with another male role model to a young girl with an unavailable father makes such a difference for her adulthood.  While overcoming the negatives of any unhealthy father-daughter relationship is not easy, it is possible for a woman to grow into a healthy adult with healthy relationships.  Her book does a very good job in helping the women learn how to go about doing this.

I asked Dr. Rosenthal another question that I felt was something that might help my daughter as well as all my readers who might be dealing with an unavailable father, whether their own father or their daughter’s.  I wanted to know more about the decision to break ties with “The Unavailable Father”.  Dr. Rosenthal explained that it is important to foster a relationship with your father on your own terms.  This is not only self-empowering, it is also enabling the woman to maintain a sense of control over the relationship, empowering her to choose what she will allow or not allow to happen in the relationship.  As an adult, a woman needs to be able to cope as best as SHE can with the ramifications of the fallout or negative issues in the relationship.  For the mother of a young girl who has an unavailable father, the most important thing a mother can do is to be aware of the relationship, to be a positive force in the child’s life, and to be as consistent and reliable for the child as possible.  A mother must always remember that if the young girl is being abused or if the relationship is truly toxic for the child, that child’s safety is most important. 

Dr. Rosenthal and I discussed confronting your father (if he is still alive and around) as a grown woman to be able to possibly understand more fully why he behaved the way he did, even allowing yourself to be more easily forgiving.  She goes into detail with this in the book as one of the steps to healing.  Learning and understanding can often be quite helpful in healing.

I think I could have spoken with Dr. Rosenthal for hours, as she is professional and knowledgeable, understanding and personable, all of the qualities that I would look for in a clinician and therapist.  Sarah Simms Rosenthal has a website that you can visit at www.theunavailablefather.com and is available for both in-person therapy at her Upper East Side private practice NYC and for phone therapy.  For more information or to set up an appointment with Dr. Rosenthal, visit her website.

Jennifer Nevadomski, MS

Even though it’s a day most get off from work, and is usually associated with barbecues and perhaps some alcoholic beverages with great friends and family, one must also take the time to remember why we celebrate Memorial Day.

Taking a little time to show appreciation for all our men and women in the armed forces and some who gave their lives for this country. Whether you support the war or not, men and women are still over there fighting for us as a country and risking everything they have.

This year, we honored my husband for the time he served with the Air Force and had the traditional burgers, ribs,& beer cookout with my family. It was a beautiful day out, so we were able to take advantage of the pool and cool down. I tried to keep a patriotic theme, and I think it worked out well! I hope everyone had a great day!

Krystal

After my divorce from her father followed by meeting and getting engaged to Paul, I knew we needed to do something special for Juliana.  So we decided to get her her own puppy.  I wanted a small to medium sized dog, one with no shedding, child friendly and playful.  Paul and I drove to a farm in Pennsylvania and brought back the most adorable black cockapoo puppy ever.  Juliana got her puppy Christmas of 2006.    She named him King, because she was very much into the Disney Princesses, and so he became her “King”.  King was a great puppy, and she loved him so.

When I got pregnant with the twins, it became more and more difficult for me to be a good dog owner.  When I was on bedrest, King would pee and poop all over the house, even after I just walked him.  He would dump the garbage and eat it, six or seven times in a row.  No matter what I did to keep trouble away from King, King found trouble.  Once the twins were born, he was back to his good old self again.

When I got pregnant with Joseph, King was back to his old tricks again.  It became evident that King was jealous of his Mama being pregnant and he was even more jealous with all these babies around.  He would growl and jump on the babies, and although he was the BEST dog to Juliana (who was now 7), he was not good with the babies.

After many months of trying, taking him for obedience lessons, working with him, working with Juliana, we had to do something.  My cousin in upstate New York had a white cockapoo, and was happy to take King to live with them.  Juliana was upset, but she knew it was best for all of us.  At the end of last summer, King went to go live with my cousin and his wife.  Juliana was planning on visiting this summer, once school ended.  That won’t happen.

I found out this morning that King was hit by a car and died.  He liked to go across the road to the farm and visit.  Well this morning, on his regular walk, he was killed by a car.  Paul and I are heartbroken.  We don not know how to break it to Juliana.

Of course I feel even more terrible that if I had only done a little bit more for King while he lived with us, he’d still be alive today.  I know we did the best we knew at the time, but now, I don’t know.  My daughter is going to be very upset.  This is not a conversation a parent wants to have with her daughter.

Jennifer Nevadomski
Paul’s Wife
Mom to: Juliana, 8 – Louis and Anthony, 22 months – Joseph, 8 months
www.nevaland.com

I wanted to take this time to share with you just a few things about my awesome husband.

He is a great dad to our children as well as other neighborhood and church children that he comes in contact with. He goes above and beyond! While I know there are 1000’s of great dads out there, he is definitely our hometown hero!!

Our local parenting newsletter is holding a Hottest Dad contest at www.tidewaterparent.com . I couldn’t wait to enter him and brag on his awesome corn pancakes :) I rarely enter contest/sweepstakes but felt that I couldn’t let this opportunity pass by. If he makes the final cuts it will be based on votes, so WE will need your support!

More info to come.

Please tell me all about the amazing fathers in your life.

~Shanta

Do you ever wish you knew how to do something that someone else knows how to do? I have always wanted to learn how to sew and how to crochet. I missed my window of opportunity to learn to crochet as a young girl. My grandmother crocheted beautiful Afghans, but I didn’t ever learn. What a waste.

I always thought it would be neat for stay at home moms or others on a budget to do a co-op of sorts. Women could teach mini-classes to their friends and vice versa. For example, if one mom knows how to bake a mean chocolate cake, but her newlywed friend burns pancakes, she could get several friends together and have a little baking class. In exchange, maybe her friend can knit beautiful scarves and might give her (and other friends) a little lesson in knitting. I think it would be cool for a group of six or eight friends to pool their talents and teach each other. Wouldn’t that be fun? Not only would it be free, but it would be wonderful to have some “me” time with friends. During the “classes”, everyone could chat about their day and just relax and unwind.

Maybe this is something others already do, but I was just brainstorming ways to learn new things without forking over money to the community college or paying for a babysitter (the kids can have a mini-play date while we learn or put the dads to work).

I know I’d love one of my organized friends to teach me her tricks! I’d be glad to teach my talent of changing two diapers in no time flat.

Shannon
Potamus Prefers
http://www.potamusprefers.com/

Every few months, since Shaughn was born, I would go through all of his clothes and sort out what he could fit into at the time and what he would grow into within the next three months and keep them in his closet until he outgrew those “3 months from now” clothes. I’ve been keeping it up so that anything I grabbed from his drawers or closet I’d know would fit him at the time.

Now as he’s very comfy in 18 month clothing and is wearing some of his 24 month and 2T, it is that time again to sort through and put all the things he no longer fits in into his storage bin filled with other clothes. The good thing about him growing into all these clothes is that my sister in law had given us tons of clothing our nephew grew out of which are all 18 months and above. I grabbed that huge bin and began sorting through what needed to go in the washer and what would be perfect for cooler weather as there were a lot of jackets/sweaters, warm clothes, and even a cute windbreaker.

While going through this bin, we found a Halloween costume of Yoda which is too adorable, especially since the Spike channel had a Star Wars marathon all Memorial Day weekend that we watched. Shaughn grabbed the headpiece and tried to put it on so I helped him and put it on the right way. He had a big smile on his face so I put the rest of the costume on to see how it looked. Still a little big, but he really liked having the headpiece on, even the next day he was running around upstairs wearing it.

I’m so sad that he’s outgrowing everything because he’s not my little peanut anymore, he’s becoming a mini man, but at the same time I am very thankful he is growing up so wonderfully. At least we have a lot of clothes to last him well into his 3Ts thanks to our great families, and family friends!

Krystal

We are a family of seven.  My husband Paul has a 19 year old son named Paulie.  I have an 8 year old daughter named Juliana.  We were married in February of 2007.  In July of 2008, our twins Louis and Anthony were born.  Just 14 months later, Joseph completed our family.  Our house has its chaotic moments, and I often feel like I am losing my mind.  Luckily, my Superman is always there to save the day!
With children spanning almost 20 years, Paul is the best Dad in the world.  He always knows the right thing to say.  And my daughter loves her “Daddy”, as Paul has taken her on as his own from the very start.  At Juliana’s First Holy Communion Mass last month, the person she chose to give her rose to during the family blessing was Paul, and as she handed to him she said “You might not be my real father, but you are definitely my real DAD!”
This SuperDad does it all!  In the morning, he changes diapers, gets bottles and breakfasts ready and takes Juliana to school.  When he comes home from work, he helps with dinner, cleans dishes, does baths and pajamas and gets them into bed.  He can cook and do laundry, too, which is great for when I need an extra hand!  Paul helps with homework, coaches softball, swims like a fish with the kids, and loves to lay down on the floor and play wrestle with the kids.  He is always fair and is extremely generous, and always makes me smile.
With a large family including 3 babies under two, we come up short handed as adults in this household!  But Paul has enough eyes, ears and hands to handle all of us, including me!  He is a hard worker, a strong but sensitive man, and by far, the BEST Dad any kid can ever ask for!  

Jennifer Nevadomski
Paul’s Wife
Mom to: Juliana, 8 – Louis and Anthony, 22 months – Joseph, 8 months
www.nevaland.com