Naptime Blog

Most days we find ourselves working round the clock.  As mothers (and often fathers!), we are up at the crack of dawn getting ready for the day.  We prepare meals, take out everyone’s clothes, and get everybody ready for their day.  Chores are endless and there are only 24 hours in a day.  Working mothers have two jobs, and any parent knows that being a mother is a full time job in itself, with constant overtime and no vacation days, sick days, or personal time.  But it never ends there.

When do we find the time to do everything else?  How can we squeeze in appointments, birthdays, play dates, cleaning out the closets, catching up with the latest best seller, or the hundred other things on our “to-do” list? Furthermore, how do we find the time (or energy) to focus on romance and keeping that relationship strong?  And what about “Mommy time”?  Does it even exist?

I am married with four children.  I work full-time from home and then have other jobs I do during the course of the month.  Approaching the end of every month, the crunch begins.  I have end of the month deadlines that I often find haunting me in the final days of every month because I never found the time throughout the month to complete them.  But after the crunch is over and it is the beginning of the next month, I wonder if it is lack of time or lack of motivation that led me to be behind yet again another month?

I have spoken to many mothers who say that they have no motivation to do anything that is not first priority, or I should say, what they consider to be priority at the moment.  Helena works full-time out of the home.  A single mother, she also does freelance writing to help with the bills.  She has attempted countless ways to try to help her get motivated to complete her writing each month, which often falls to the wayside.  Helena has asked me to help her get motivated to write her articles.

Renee also works full-time out of the home.  Mom of two, she lives with her fiancé and has a hectic schedule with two very active boys.  Renee loves to read, but finds it almost impossible to devote any significant time to the Best Seller List.  She finds herself sitting in the car while waiting for baseball practice to end, tempted to open that book, but then the phone rings or another mother comes up to the car to chat.  So she crawls into bed and manages to open a book (“I’ll just read a few chapters…” turns into an all-nighter) she spends the next day dragging and drained from a lack of sleep.  There is no ‘happy medium’.

That online master’s degree program that Jenna signed up for last year looked like the perfect solution to allowing her to complete that degree she has always dreamed of.  The benefits of an online program that we have today, while seeming to fit perfectly in Jenna’s life, are being met by the demands of her two toddlers and husband.  Jenna really wants to get this degree in motion, but is not motivated enough to get the ball rolling due to being so busy with the kids.

We ALL have good intentions, and the motivating factors behind these things (and others) should be enough to keep us going, but we are often too consumed in the demands of the day that we cannot get to complete what we set out to complete.  How can we get motivated and stay motivated?

Here are some things we can try, hoping it helps!

The Buddy System – Exercising, dieting, even spring cleaning, can often be easier to do and stick with when done with a friend.  I was most successful in my weight loss goals when my aunt (who was living in the apartment upstairs from me at the time) and I dieted together.  We would share recipes, celebrate our successes together, head out grocery shopping (for healthy foods and finds, of course) together, and help each other through our pitfalls together.

Group – Join a book club, and the other ladies in the club will help get you motivated to catch up on your reading.  There is more accountability and strength in numbers, and it will be more fun if you can be involved in the discussions and can discuss the books from your own viewpoints if you read the books!

Enlisting the help of your spouse/significant other – Whether your partner is your accountability buddy or if he/she helps out in some of your other chores so that you can complete the tasks you are seeking motivation for, having your spouse/significant other on board with you in your goals always makes things that much easier.  As a matter of fact, the whole family should be on board to help out where they can, and having stress lessened in one area can help you manage in other areas.

Reminders / Calendars / To-Do Lists – In the age of technology, I have finally become better at keeping track of things, due to the reminders I set up on my laptop and my blackberry.  As I learn of deadlines I need to make, I put them into the calendar feature.  I give myself a few days notice to remind me, and the notification is clear enough to remind me.  So when I have an article due on Tuesday, I set the reminder alarm to go off on Sunday, giving me two more days to complete it.  Unfortunately there is always the option to click the “snooze” button (same problem I always had with alarm clocks each morning since I was younger!), so I cannot be guaranteed to get it done immediately, but at least the reminder is fresh in my mind at all times.

As mothers, we must remember that we are human first, not machines.  We are often our biggest critics, and if you can continuously remind yourself that you are doing a great job, it might be motivation enough  to keep you going!  Good luck!

Jennifer
Wife to Paul, Mom to Juliana (7), Anthony and Louis (1) and Joseph (4 months)www.nevaland.com

I remember being a little girl, dreaming of when I would be a wife and a mother.  I always wanted to have children, and it was something I dreamt of often.  Holding each of my four children, I am still amazed at how much I love them and how much they mean to me.  My husband is my best friend, and our family is everything I always hoped I would have.  But with having four children, three of them under two, I can’t say it is always easy.

Everything needs to be planned out, prepared and thought through beforehand.  When Paul and I started dating, we’d often decide last minute to pick up and go for a quick weekend away.  If, at 5:00 pm, I decided I was not in the mood to cook, when Paul got home we would go for dinner.  There is something about being spontaneous that makes things more interesting.

I have been feeling cooped up as it is very difficult to get out with the kids in the winter by myself, and needed a break.  So about a week and a half ago, my husband and I decided we would take a drive down to Florida with the kids.  Juliana was off for President’s Week/ winter break, Paul got a few days off, and we packed up and headed in our new minivan from New York to Florida.  We own a time share with Wyndham, so I tried booking their Orlando resort, but had to book Daytona for 3 nights then Orlando for 2, as it was so last minute. 

SPONTANEITY!  It feels great!  Can’t do that much anymore! 

Within a little while we realized I booked Daytona Beach the weekend of the Daytona 500.  At least 12 people told us that Daytona during the Daytona 500 was a crazy place to be.  That didn’t deter us.  Neither did the 15 hour drive (both ways) that was ahead of us with three babies and a very impatient almost eight-year-old.  There was something so wonderful and liberating to just be able to almost literally “pick up and go”, that nothing else mattered.

Minivan’s all packed, kids are ready to go, and Paul and I are ready for our long drive.  I will drive for the first three hours so Paul can nap and then he intends to drive the rest of the night.  We plan on doing most of the drive while the kids are sleeping.  At least that is our plan!

Stay tuned for details on how it all went!

Jennifer
Wife to Paul, Mom to Juliana (7), Anthony and Louis (1) and Joseph (4 months)
www.nevaland.com

I just signed up to become a Mom-Bassador with Mothers Day Party!  I will invite a few of my friends over on Mother’s Day weekend and be a part of the Largest Mother’s Day Party in the world!  I’m going to get free goodies for me and my friends, and it is a great feeling to know that I will be joining 200 other moms around the country, working together, helping each other, celebrating MOMS!

Can you imagine inviting a few of your best friends and family over for a fun-filled afternoon or evening that includes a special video, worldwide connection, FREE stuff and a program of activities. Your event can include networking, health information, financial awareness, food focus, green, music, arts, crafts and more.

All you need to do to get involved is agree to host a party in your home, place of business, local bookstore, club restaurant or community center. Sign up and tell us what you want your event to look like. We’ll network you in with women everywhere, send you goodies, entertain you with music and literature and mentor if you to get started with your own business.

Here’s some more info about Mothers Day Party:  It’s a WORLDWIDE PARTY! But, the best part is, that we are all about creating new ways for women to be seen, heard and recognized. We want to shatter stereotypes and encourage diversity. We want to support YOU, the woman inside the role of mom. If you’re not a mom, then we still want you, because EVERYONE mothers someone or something. Ultimately mothering is not about biology but about psychology. It’s the nurturing we do in the world for our businesses, families, talents, home and planet.

See, we’re just about as inclusive as it gets, and MOST IMPORTANT, we don’t just want to just feed you the kool aid. We want you to find out for yourself, through meaningful interactions, inspired self-reflection and empowered activities just how incredible YOU are.

Visit www.mothersdayparty.com to join me and become a Mom-Bassador!

Jennifer
Wife to Paul, Mom to Juliana (7), Anthony and Louis (1) and Joseph (4 months)www.nevaland.com

I have never really considered myself the Martha Stewart type, but with things being so expensive now-a-days, I have gotten really resourceful when it comes to spending.

I am starting to gravitate towards those gifts that have a lasting meaning. I remembered a great vacation we took to Disney World and they had the cutest t-shirts from the Dr. Seuss book ‘Cat and The Hat’.

All these kids were walking around with Thing 1, Thing 2, and so on, shirts on. They were just adorable. I even saw twins with them on! Well, even though there is a huge age difference between my two boys, I thought it would be really cute to get them similar shirts. When I started looking for them online, I was AMAZED at how expensive these kids t-shirts were!

I looked on ebay.com and found a seller of the iron transfers for a really great price. I rushed to Wal-Mart and found some basic red t-shirt, Jayce’s was $3 for a size 24 months and Lil g was $5 for a size 14. I ordered a copy of that classic book to add to the kid’s collection and for less than $30 we had the best stocking stuffers ever,

I even made the t-shirt myself, which makes for an even more memorable gift.

Take a look

~Shanta

Have you noticed that a lot of companies are jumping on the Twitter and Facebook bandwagon? Why not! These are two super popular social media outlets with tons of members. Add to that the instant feedback companies can receive and who wouldn’t want to utilize these two popular websites?

I’ve also noticed that a lot of companies will give coupons for a free product to people who become fans of their Facebook page or retweet a line or two on Twitter. In my opinion, this is smart because the company is getting the word out about their product and fans are learning about new products and saving money. With the economy the way it is, it’s good to see that companies are getting creative to not only help market themselves, but help out the economy.
Many times, people can print coupons from Facebook or Twitter (through links) or directly from company’s websites. This is convenient for digital moms that may not take the Sunday paper or just don’t have the time to manually clip coupons.

Another way that companies are saving on advertising dollars is through working with mom bloggers. I am a mom blogger / review blogger and have had the opportunity to work with many companies. Companies will send these moms a product to try out in exchange for their honest opinion. Many mom bloggers also choose to write about these products on their blog and sometimes offer a giveaway of the product. Moms trust other moms.

Do you read blog reviews? Are you on Facebook or Twitter?

Shannon
Potamus Prefers
http://www.potamusprefers.com/

The new generation does not know life without cell ph0ones, Blackberries, I-Pods, DVRs, WI-Fi, Bluetooth and more.  As a matter of fact, even adults often wonder how we survived years ago without all of these things.  But we did, and we did it well.  As children, we would play outside and make up games, socialize with the neighborhood children, use our noggins.  The children of today use their noggins in quite a different way.  My eight year old knows more about computers than my Mom does.  She can wire a DVD player and play movies for her younger brothers but my Dad cannot.  It is amazing what the advancements in technology are allowing us to do.  But are there negatives to innovation when it comes to our children?

Technology and Literacy: Adversely related?

One mom recently posed the question: If children are texting and messaging on social networking sites with all of these acronyms and shorthand lingo, will this affect their grammar and vocabulary as well as writing ability?

As a family therapist and a mother, my perspective remains the same for this as it does for many other issues…  As a parent, we have a duty and responsibility to teach our children and to enforce the importance of education.  While the styles and methods of teaching (also due to the advancements in technology and keeping up with current times) may have changed from when we were students, proper English has not changed, nor has the content of what children will learn in school changed.  School curriculums have not changed, nor will they… your child will be learning the proper way to write, the correct grammatical formats and weekly spelling tests continue. So as long as our children are in school and as long as we as parents are stressing the importance of staying in school and studying to learn, they will be fine.  We need to be aware as parents how the child is doing in school.  We as parents need to be sure we are monitoring their progress.

With all the advancements of today, children (and adults) seem to be moving at a speed we’ve never moved before.  We can send information in the blink of an eye.  We can find out information just as quickly.   The negative to that is that kids always seem to need to do something: watching television/movies, texting, surfing the internet, playing video games; and children often report boredom when they are not. In keeping with the generation, adults need to be a little more creative in order to keep them motivated and keep them learning. Many adults have found ways to do this.  Moving with technology, some teachers are using computers and cell phones in a positive way with the students: emailing assignments, having notes/information available for the students online, utilizing text messaging and/or social media sites to remind students of assignments, keeping parents engaged with emails and text messages.  I recently read Read Between the Lines:  A Humorous Guide to Texting with Simplicity and Style by Shawn Marie Edgington.  The author discusses some teachers are even using special software where teen students can text in questions during class– helping those who wouldn’t normally raise their hands, keeping some questions and comments anonymous to the other students, and engaging children more effectively because they can relate better.  I’d be curious to see how these classes are doing with grades/standardized test scores as compared to classes that are just utilizing traditional means of learning such as the chalkboard and notebooks.  Certainly studies will be done soon on this!

Rude or respectful?

I am a happy Blackberry owner, and the age of technology has shaped my career and the way I run my day.  I am able to work from home and stay with my children as I work for an online mother’s website because of advanced technology.  I can take my daughter to her dentist appointment without missing an important email.  I can hold conference calls while feeding my infant and giving the twins Cheerios.  I can run around the corner to get milk at the deli and not miss that important message that says my meeting was changed from 9am to noon. 

With all the demands of work and life, I have also become guilty of reaching for my Blackberry when I hear the notification of a new email, even at the most inopportune of times.  I have sat at dinner with family and replied to a text from one of my discussion leaders who was having a problem on the forum and needed my assistance.  And while the advanced technology worked wonders for my job, I was rude for interrupting dinner to move my thumbs and reply to something that arguably could have waited until after dinner.

As an adult, I know that there is a time and place for everything, and although I use the excuse “this is all part of my job”, I must admit it gets a little addicting.  I recognize this and know I need to utilize by phone/computer at more appropriate times.  As a mother, I recognize I better adjust this fast, because my children are very quick learners.  My husband and I went out to dinner not too long ago and across the room I saw a family eating their dinner: a mother and father and a little girl of about seven or eight years of age.  The girl was sitting at the table with her Nintendo DS while the parents ordered dinner.  What was striking was that every time I looked across the room, the little girl was still playing with her DS, even while the family was eating dinner.  I found this totally inappropriate, and commented so to my husband.  Since my children were infants we always sat down to eat dinner as a family, often with the baby at the table in his bouncy seat while the rest of us ate.  We always wanted to teach our children the importance of this family time and the respect to sit together, eat together and hold a family conversation regularly.  Although this is not possible for every family due to life demands of work and school, I wholeheartedly believe that every family should set aside at least one day per week to eat as a family, and there should be no video games, telephones, or other distractions.  Therefore, I have begun to make a conscious effort to remain respectful to my family and leave the emails and texts until after dinner.

Technology is moving at the speed of light (I believe that phrase was already used before in a commercial!) and the current generation is moving just as quickly.  If we utilize these advances positively and make the best of today’s lifestyles, there is no need to compromise our children’s intelligence, positive behaviors and habits, and we can all advance with technology together.

Jennifer
Wife to Paul, Mom to Juliana (7), Anthony and Louis (1) and Joseph (4 months)www.nevaland.com

Since we were up North for Christmas, we celebrated with my family down here afterwards. My mom asked what Shaughn wanted for Christmas and of course, I don’t know what to say. I suggested anything educational that would teach him, until I spotted a $20 drum set for toddlers. I am not forcing music upon my child but he certainly seems interested in anything that makes noise. He has this really nice KidiJamz keyboard that he plays alot, and his Leap Frog Learn & Groove Drum and Maracas keep him very entertained. He likes beating the lids of my pots and pans with spatulas so I figured this would be a gift he would surely enjoy. My mom got it for him and he definitely loves it. My husband set it up for him while still at my parents house and he immediately started banging away with his drum sticks. It’s as if it came naturally to him, I swear. At least one time a day he crawls over to his drums and plays for a few minutes all by himself. When he’s done with that, he gets out of his chair and goes about to the next activity which is usually another musical toy. He’s starting up his own band! So far it’s a band of us three and we had needed a vocalist until today, when Shaughn grabbed the microphone connected to the keyboard and sang into it WHILE pressing the keyboard keys. We have to schedule a tour soon lol!

 

-Krystle

Notice I did not call myself a Soccer Mom.  I am not sure why the term Soccer Mom was created, but Soccer Mom doesn’t quite fit me.  You can refer to me as Softball Mom, Girl Scout Mom, Choir Practice Mom…   In the past I have even been Gymnastics Mom, Dance Class Mom, Play Practice Mom or After School Program Mom.  I am sure at some point I will be Baseball Mom, Football Mom, Hockey Mom, Boy Scouts Mom, maybe even Bowling Mom, Wrestling Mom, Debate Club Mom,  and yes, quite possibly one day I might just actually be the proverbial Soccer Mom.  Whatever you call it, earlier this month, we finally joined the ranks of millions of other families and traded in our SUV (which was technically a CUV, Cross Over Vehicle) for a minivan.  So I am now an official “Minivan Mom”.

Being an at-home mom, I often feel that I have lost touch with the “grown-up” world.  I know how important I am to four little kids and a man that calls himself MY husband, but I sometimes feel that I lost my individuality along the way.  As I see my daughter grow so rapidly, and my little baby boys are now tiny little men, I am reminded that my own childhood is a memory.  I guess a part of me was holding on to my “truck” as a means of keeping young, although that doesn’t make much sense.  Honestly, sometimes even I don’t understand my train of thought!

Anyone and everyone who has children and owns a minivan has been telling me for years how I will be very happy to make this move.  Getting 3 babies in and out of a third row seat in an SUV was getting so difficult, even when my husband was with me, that it became a headache to go shopping or visiting.  And traveling with 4 kids, three under two is not easy.  I either have a double stroller with a Snap N Go for the little guy or a triple stroller, either taking up the entire back area in storage in my SUV. 

We are now the proud owners of a 2010 Chrysler Town and Country Touring.  Once my children realize exactly how much storage space we have in this minivan they are going to drive me crazy hiding toys and videos, possibly even each other.  We have dual DVD players, and each of them can have a different video or game going on them, which means my daughter can watch High School Musical while my boys can watch Yo Gabba Gabba and mommy and daddy can listen to Sirius radio.  I cannot wait to go on a long trip just to try all this out (of course we’ve tried it out on shorter trips, but would love to make a trip down south with all of these gadgets!).  Although it won’t be easy getting the boys in and out of ANY vehicle in the next few years, it has been much easier to get them in the minivan than the truck.  And I am AMAZED with how much room I have with the strollers in the back… we even went food shopping and forgot to take the carriages out and had plenty of room for the packages!  Maybe next time we can venture to the grocery store WITH the kids (nah…!)

I am amazed with how much I am enjoying the features in my minivan and how family friendly it really is.  I am slowly getting used to the idea of being a Minivan Mom, and am making the best of it.  Maybe in about 18 years I can get that two seat Mercedes!

Jennifer
Wife to Paul, Mom to Juliana (7), Anthony and Louis (1) and Joseph (4 months)www.nevaland.com

This is one of the coolest websites ever. You can create all types of greeting cards and announcements. It’s a free site with some awesome graphics. It’s really user friendly also. I bumped into this website when I was trying to create an evite. Unfortunately the evite website kept freezing up and locking me out. I became pretty frustrated with that and decided to google search other FREE online programs with some of the same and even BETTER features.

I am almost obsessed with it; I create cards and greetings for no apparent reason. I am going to attempt to insert some of the things I’ve create so you can take a peak. You can even make cute little videos with themed music, it’s so much fun.

Enjoy…

http://smilebox.com/playBlog/4d5451324e5459324d54413d0d0a&blogview=true

http://smilebox.com/playBlog/4d5451324e5459324d7a493d0d0a&blogview=true

~Shanta

I know my first born son loves trains. His Thomas the Tank never leaves his side (and if it does, I am summoned to immediately fetch it with pleas of, “Tuss, Tuss, Tuss!”). He sits in his chair, in his bed, on the floor, in his car seat and wherever else he is, running his trains over his limbs and head. He spends much time at his beloved train table (if you read my personal blog, you might remember this post, this one that started his love for trains and this one of him admiring the trains). A huge smile pastes itself on his little face when he sees his Thomas book. When I go get him from nap or in the morning, he frantically searches for his Thomas and Percy before he’ll leave his room. He and trains (also known as the aforementioned “Tuss” or “Choochoos”) are BFFs.

So, I shouldn’t have been surprised when hubby found this in the living room recently…

It’s a remote, it’ s a book, it’s a car, it’s a binky…. these are my first thoughts when seeing these items strewn around on the floor. Leave it to a toddler’s imagination to turn them into exactly what HE wants them to be.

“Nooooo, it’s a TRAIN, Mom! Isn’t it obvious?” Well, now it is!

And, I do have to take notice that my youngest son’s binky is bringing up the end of this train as the caboose. Maybe Finley is hauling it off to the dump?

Who knows, but you gotta love kids!

Shannon
Potamus Prefers
http://www.potamusprefers.com/